


You're Having (His) Baby

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Short but Sometimes Sweet: Damerey Collection [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Artist Poe, Ben Solo is Not Good in this, Engineer Rey, F/M, Modern AU, Poe is not the father, Possessive Ben, Protective Poe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unredeemed Ben, Unrequited Love, pregnancy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-04-30 23:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: Retired from the military after a career-ending injury and ready to pursue his passion for art, Poe Dameron settles in a fantastic apartment on the east side of Coruscant. Well, it's an okay apartment, to be fair, but what makes it fantastic is his neighbor.Poe has a huge crush on the woman who lives across the hall from him; and he thinks he has a fairly good chance with her, as he hasn't seen her mountain of a boyfriend come around for a while.But, when he accidentally discovers something about Rey Kenobi, something she's convinced will only push him away, he offers her his help with anything she needs. And the crush he's been harboring for the pretty girl who lives across from him is about to turn into something a lot more powerful, and a lot more life-changing.





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for the whole fic: No, the pregnancy was not planned, and no, Ben is not a good person. Rey breaks up with him for a reason involving abusive language and controlling behavior. The pregnancy was a result of something intended to be a one night stand. 
> 
> Poe and Ben (and Rey and Ben) will have several confrontations, and there will be a depiction of childbirth at the end - the mature rating reflects all of these details.
> 
> Each chapter is a different month of Rey's pregnancy, and there will be a new chapter at least once a day :) (Sometimes two? If the mood strikes me?)

After he returns home from the war, Poe Dameron, formerly Lieutenant Commander Dameron of the US Navy, dusts off his paintbrushes and charcoals, finds a nice apartment on the east side of the river in Coruscant, and settles in to actually start living.

He likes his new haircut (long, for the first time in years), he likes his job, he likes his chubby dog, and he likes that his best friend, Finn, is a ten minute bike ride away.

He’s very happy with his apartment complex because he likes his neighbors, too. Well, one in particular. Poe can’t help it, never stood a chance – he saw her, and he knew. This girl was going to change his life (and yeah, he’s a romantic, always has been, right down to the fact that he never takes his mama’s ring off his neck, the weight of it soothing against his tags).

The particular neighbor who improves the quality of life for the entire complex tromps up the stairs from the front entrance one June day, looking incredibly upset and clutching a plastic shopping bag.

He’s out in the hallway, fussing with the brakes of his bike, when she walks to her door, the one right across from his.

“Hey, Rey,” he says, smiling at her. He doesn’t know a lot about his beautiful, mysterious neighbor. He knows her name is Rey, he knows she’s incredibly strong (what, he’s observant, and in his defense, she _had_ lifted someone’s new washer up the stairs single-handedly), and he knows that she might be dating the largest man he’s ever seen (okay, so Poe saw him, the grumpy mountain, leave her apartment once, a few weeks ago, doing the walk of shame, Poe was just trying to get his paper, not be a creep, really. Really).

Still, glimpses of Rey are usually the brightest part of his day; he doesn’t know much about her, but he does know her smile looks like sunshine.

“Hello, Poe.” Rey looks over her shoulder, and her face shifts from distant anxiety to something closer to actual happiness. “What are you up to?”

“Fixing this hunk of junk,” Poe gestures at his bike wearily. “Got a stick caught in a spoke last weekend on a ride, didn’t notice until it had torn some stuff up.”

“Ah,” Rey looks sad again, her eyes drifting off somewhere obviously not great, so Poe holds out his tools to her.

“Wanna help?”

“Oh my God, _yes_!” And her real smile is back, which is honestly going to be the pinnacle of Poe’s day, cheering this pretty woman up. If he could get her to smile like that every day, he’d have nothing but good days, he knows.

After hanging her grocery bag off her doorknob, Rey settles down next to him, and to his intense surprise, she’s studied his brakes and made a decision in ten seconds flat, and fixes the damn thing in less than three minutes.

“I’ve been out here all afternoon,” Poe whines, not feeling cross in the least.

“Sorry,” Rey looks up at him, and rubs at her nose, leaving behind an adorable streak of grease. Everything about her is adorable. It isn’t fair. “I’m an engineer, if it’s any consolation.”

“Ah,” Poe grins at her. “Makes sense.” It totally makes sense that she’s an engineer, because of course in addition to being super pretty and super strong and super nice, she’s super smart. Yeah. This will be great for his self-esteem. “What kind of engineer?”

“Mechanical!” She chirps, grinning. “I work at Skywalker Aeronautical, up on Kessel Run.”

Yeah, he’s fucked.

“You work at Luke Skywalker’s company?” He asks, eyes bugged out. “That guy was a legend in the Navy. I started flying _because_ of him, and his best friend, Han Solo.”

A strange shadow descends over Rey’s face at the mention of Han Solo, but it’s wiped away so quickly by her normal, ferocious grin, that Poe thinks he might have imagined it. “I mean, I actually work _with_ Luke Skywalker. I’m sort of like, his apprentice? You know?”

“Fuck,” Poe mutters, drawing out the vowel. “Skywalker’s heir just fixed my bike. I’m a lucky guy.”

“Yes, very fortunate,” Rey sniffs delicately, still smiling through her feigned haughtiness. “But how about you – you’re a pilot? That’s so cool!”

“I was a pilot,” Poe amends, politely. “I was discharged half a year back, shot down on a routine mission, busted my back a little, took the out when they offered it. Figured twelve years was enough.”

“More than,” Rey says seriously. “Are you okay, now?”

_No. No, I'm really not, not if you count the nightmares and the chronic pain and the exhaustion and the fear that nothing I ever do will be enough, not when my friends died, not when they didn't come back from the mission._

“Yeah, doing better all the time,” Poe says, trying out a positive phrase his therapist had been suggesting he try. “I’m an illustrator, now.”

“An illustrator?” Rey asks, eyes wide. “What do you illustrate?”

“Children’s books,” Poe laughs, rubbing the back of his neck before he remembers he has grease all over his hands. Whatever. He’ll match Rey, now. “Just finished a mock-up for a cover, actually.”

“That’s amazing!” Rey looks thrilled and absolutely genuine, and Poe feels – he feels proud. For the first time in months. His dad tells him he’s excited for him all the time, but his dad knew him before the accident too, so there’s always a hint of _sorry you aren’t flying anymore, I know how much it meant to you, how it connected you to your mom._ But with Rey, it feels like a fresh start.

“You want to see it?” Poe asks, rubbing some of the grease off on his jeans.

“Yes!” Rey bounces to her feet. “Yes, definitely! Yes, please!”

Whatever had been upsetting her no longer seems to be hanging over her head, and Poe counts it as a victory.

And the sharp gasp of amazement she makes when she sees the portrait of an alien he’d drawn for a children’s sci-fi cover, well –

Poe’s just very happy with his apartment complex.

Rey has to leave five minutes later, but they exchange phone numbers at her request ("I want you to send me pictures of your drawings, Dameron!"), and when he looks down at her contacts, he learns that her last name is Kenobi, another name that rings a bell. 

"How many famous pilots do you know?" Poe asks, round-eyed, staring at his phone. 

"Well, I know Luke, and Han, and Ben Kenobi," Rey smiles at him sweetly. "So four?"

"Four?" Poe looks up in confusion.

"Well, I know you too, now." Rey's smile is just as bright as always, only a little softer this time, and Poe is so, so fucked.

She leaves ten seconds later, after she tells him he owes her dinner for fixing his bike, a deal he's all too happy to accept. 

He stands in his doorway and watches her unlock her door. He also watches as her hand hesitates over the shopping bag hanging off her doorknob. When she turns back around and catches him smiling at her like the weirdo lovestruck puppy he is, her answering smile is sadder than it was in his apartment. Poe tries not to dwell on it, but when the door closes behind her, he has a weird feeling that something is about to change. And for better or worse, he couldn't say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Poe finds out soon, but obviously Rey's just about to find out for herself~
> 
> Also, I have some questions about my next few fics:
> 
> 1\. For Much Ado About Damerey AU: Should I keep it five chapters to reflect the five acts? Or should I make it 17 chapters and go scene by scene, full Shakespeare style?
> 
> 2\. Should I make Roadside Assistance (The Single Dad two-shot) a longer fic? And if I do, should I keep it T-rated, or finally let that tired papa have some adult fun?
> 
> 3\. I also wrote an arranged marriage AU and it's basically done (Poe is the King of Spain, Rey is a princess of England); it's honestly a little smutty - should I keep it that way or take out the adult material and make a t-rated feels-based arranged marriage fic?


	2. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe discovers the truth, and has a conversation with Rey (and falls a little bit in love, gosh, something new for him ;P)

A month or so later, Rey Kenobi has become somewhat of a ghost in the complex.

He’d been seeing the mountainous boyfriend again, and he pretends like it doesn’t sting, because it shouldn’t sting. Rey never belonged to him because that’s not how people work, and she certainly doesn’t owe him anything after one sun-drenched June afternoon.

Now it’s late July, and he hasn’t seen the boyfriend (is he a boyfriend? Poe honestly can’t tell, Rey had looked miserable all the time when he was over, and for a while, he kept bringing things to her door and leaving them, sometimes not even knocking. It was … well, it was weird) in almost two weeks, and Rey’s still not looking any happier.

Poe heard them screaming at each other, once, two weeks ago. He’d almost called the cops, almost went over, but then he heard a door wrench open – he’d watched from the peephole in his door, 911 already dialed, in case he needed to make the call while pulling a guy twice his size off the girl he’s a little moony for, and yeah, Poe was more than a little sick to his stomach at the thought of him hurting her, even hypothetically – but then the boyfriend stormed away, down the steps and out the front door, and Rey had stood in her doorway, fists clenched and heaving for breath (angry, he noticed, not sad or upset or scared, but infuriated), and she’d gone back inside and slammed the door.

No, she didn’t need Poe Dameron, who admittedly was half the man he used to be, to save her. Rey didn’t, and doesn’t need anyone to save her. That much remains obvious.

Still, something weird was happening across the hall, and when the boyfriend stopped showing up, Poe was half-happy, and half-worried, if only because Rey still didn’t look any more cheerful.

She looks beaten down, honestly, exhausted and stressed. She still smiles at him in the hall though; and, last week, when Poe had brought up the package his dad had sent him when she was walking by, she realized it was his birthday. Rey had shown up at his door an hour later with cookies she’d baked for him.

(They were inedible, but that just made the gesture more endearing, and he’d forced himself to eat two of them with her standing in his doorway, grinning nervously at him, because this was the longest interaction they’d had in a month and he wanted her to stay a little longer, smile a little longer. Yeah. His crush might be more than a crush. So what? He’s only human).

On July 29th, Poe hears a small ruckus in the hallway. Specifically, he hears Rey Kenobi shout, “Oh, he fucking didn’t!” Worried, Poe opens his door and is met with a strange sight.

His beautiful neighbor is trying to heft a massive box out into the hallway. He knows Rey is more than competent and impossibly strong (again. She lifted a washer. By herself). So, the image of her toiling with anything, not using her back or knees correctly– it doesn’t compute.

“You okay, Rey?” He asks, concerned.

Rey drops the corner of the box and turns to look at him with a strangely guilty expression on her face, and that’s when he sees it. It’s barely noticeable, only when she turns to the side, and it’s probably only apparent because she’s so thin. His assumption is immediately confirmed when she moves out of the way, and he can see the labeling on the side of the box: it’s a crib.

Rey from across the hall is pregnant.

“Yeah, I’m okay, Poe.” She wipes her eyes hastily, and he realizes she was crying. “I’m just trying to get this out front. I uh…I didn’t order it. Ben did, and I didn’t ask him to, and it’ll just be another thing he holds over my head, and I really, really don’t want it in my apartment, I don’t know or want to know how he got it in here.”

Now he knows that her massive boyfriend’s name is Ben, and he’s definitely her _ex_ -boyfriend.

“Can I give you a hand?” He asks, awkwardly.

“I can do it myself,” she snaps. A second later she covers her face with her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m not usually an asshole. Well, this much of an asshole.”

“It’s fine,” Poe shrugs cheerfully, trying not to let any of his shock show on his face. “I’m fluent in asshole. Here, I’ll try to speak the language. ‘Look, Rey, I desperately need to validate my masculinity, so I’d lift that thing whether or not you want me to. It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a girl, and everything to do with my testicles, so shut up and let me help you.’” He tries to make his voice sound like one of the guys from the Jersey Shore, and it makes her laugh, so he counts it as successful. “Come on, I missed leg day at the gym. I can help.”

“Okay,” Rey nods, wiping away one final tear. “Okay, and then maybe I can get you some lemonade.”

Lemonade does sound nice, but spending time with Rey sounds nicer, so Poe happily takes the role of walking backwards as they heave the crib out to the curb.

“Who the fuck buys furniture that’s not from Ikea?” Poe asks as they drop the expensive looking crib on the sidewalk.

“Right?” Rey grins at him and nudges him slightly with her shoulder as they walk back up the stairs (Poe very much does not hyperventilate at the knowledge that she initiated contact. He very much doesn’t. He’s cool. Poe Dameron is cool. A Cool Guy).

They reach Rey’s door, and she smiles at him as she unlocks it, but then she slams her head into the wood, groaning. Poe reaches out involuntarily, wanting to pull her away from banging her head into the door again.

“You okay?” He asks. It’s the question of the day.

“I just – I don’t even have fucking lemonade,” and he can tell she’s halfway to crying again. “I’m a mess, and I’m sorry, and I’m the worst and –"

“You don’t have to give me lemonade,” Poe insists, hands in the air. “Honest, Rey, that’s like – like in what world would I mind if you didn’t give me _lemonade_? I – I have some in my fridge. Do you want come in and drink some?” Rey fidgets with her doorknob, and he’s sure she’s going to say ‘no, fuck off you weirdo, I don’t actually want to spend time with you,’ but instead she sniffs and nods.

“Yeah,” she gives him a watery smile. “I’d like that.”

He lets them into his apartment instead, and Bumblebee comes hurtling towards them.

“Hey boy,” Poe kneels down and rubs his dog’s orange fur ferociously. “Hey, buddy! Look, new friend!’ Bee’s already sniffing at Rey, eagerly. To Poe’s intense surprise, Bee does not jump up on Rey demanding pets, like the beast does with all of his other visitors. Bee sits patiently at Rey’s feet and wiggles his butt, panting slightly.

“What a good boy!” Rey exclaims, kneeling down as well. Poe grins at what they must look like, kneeling side by side in his foyer, kneeling to the Dog King of 1B. “Clever boy!” Bee yips in agreement, and when Rey leans in closer to scratch his ruff, he licks her once on the nose. Rey’s nose wrinkles in that impossibly cute way of hers, and Poe blushes and stands to close the door in an attempt to collect himself.

“So, that’s Bumblebee,” Poe explains. “Bee for short.”

“I love him,” Rey sighs happily, sliding down so she’s sitting all the way on the ground. “I would have loved a dog growing up.” That’s all she says on the matter, but she buries her face in Bee’s fur, and Bee does not act his typical hyperactive self, and instead leans into Rey’s body, almost protectively. Poe beams at his good, clever dog and goes to pour two glasses of lemonade.

“Ice?” He calls to the foyer.

“No, thank you,” Rey responds. He can hear the jingle of Bee’s dog tags – clearly she’s giving the dog the good scratches. “Sensitive teeth.”

“Got it,” Poe brings two glasses, one with ice and one without, to the foyer. He smiles at Rey and when she makes no sign of moving, he settles on the ground across from her, his back on the opposite wall, legs stretched out to mirror hers. Her feet are near his hip and vice versa, and he leans over to hand her the glass. Bee sniffs at it half-heartedly before returning his head to Rey’s lap. The dog is curled up between her legs, and Rey’s rubbing his belly lazily.

“Bee is a very good dog,” Rey proclaims, smiling. She sips her lemonade and then looks around. Poe gestures for her to put it anywhere, and she smiles, setting it down on the ground.

“Good for you, maybe,” Poe corrects. “That dog is an honest to God monster the rest of the time. He eats _everything,_ including, and I am not kidding you, my ex’s keys.”

“She must have been furious!” Rey laughs, patting Bee on the head. The corgi huffs without any guilt.

“Yeah, he really wasn’t happy.” Poe smiles at her, hoping he didn’t offend her by correcting the gender; he’s used to the common mistake, but he also doesn’t ever feel like hiding who he is.

Rey turns beet red – and he looks at her warily. “Oh!” She exclaims. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were gay.”

 _No, no, no, definitely – oh, God._ “Not gay,” Poe shakes his head quickly. _Definitely interested in you, God, oh God._ “Uh – pan? More interested in who people are than what they are?”

“Oh, got it,” Rey looks less flustered and picks up her lemonade for a split second before setting it back down. “So. Um. Thank you for your help.”

“Not a problem,” Poe says truthfully. “Not a problem at all, Sunshine.”

“Sunshine?” Rey looks at him curiously. “You have a nickname for me?”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “I was calling you that in my head before we really met. You know, because your smile—” he gestures hopelessly at his own face. Oh, Jesus, just pass her a note in homeroom already, Dameron, get it over with. “sorry if that’s weird.”

“No!” Rey looks at him earnestly. “No, I’ve never had a nickname before. It’s nice. Besides, I had one for you too.”

“Yeah?” _Please don’t be ‘creepy guy who stares at me sometimes.’ Please._ “What was it?”

“Nice Guy in 1B with the Cool Jacket,” Rey supplies easily, not looking the least bit embarrassed. “Did you know you were the only person who offered to help me move in back in January?”

“No,” Poe shakes his head. “And I think you responded to that offer by lifting a 50 pound box over your head.”

“Yeah,” Rey grins reminiscently. “Yeah, I have a bit of an independent streak.”

“I’ve noticed.” Poe smiles at her and then goes back to fiddling with his glass.

“So.” Rey’s foot knocks against his hip. When he looks up at her, she’s staring determinedly at the wall near his shoulder. “You can ask. Go on.”

“Ah.” Poe nods, nervously and clears his throat. “So, Rey, what’s with the crib?”

“My – he isn’t even an ex—” She shakes her head, irritated, and Poe hates how much he relaxes. “Ben is very insistent on being part of – uh. Well. God, I’m doing this wrong. So yeah, I’m pregnant.”

“Okay.” Poe makes sure to make direct eye contact when she looks at him. He can tell she’s trying to gauge his reaction, so he forces himself to have a neutral expression, the only emotion he allows to slip through being compassion. “Go on.”

“Nine weeks,” Rey says. “If I had to guess, based on the last time I –” she turns bright red. “Well, you know.”

“Yeah,” Poe smiles at her reassuringly. “I know. I went to Health that day.”

“Yeah,” Rey laughs once and then falls silent for a few seconds. “So, Ben is uhm – not an ex, not even really a friend, more of an acquaintance, and he…has some strong opinions. Namely, I should marry him and start some nuclear family, perfect happy ending bullshit. And I – I did not want –”

“You don’t want that,” Poe finishes when she cuts herself off.

“No, not exactly,” Rey looks upset, incredibly upset suddenly. “Not – not with him, at least.”

“Oh.” Poe’s stomach clenches briefly. He’s been stealing glances at and moments with Rey Kenobi for months now. She’s never looked afraid, but she really does right now. “You don’t have to tell me why, Rey. Or anything else. Thank you for trusting me with this much, really.”

She looks a little more herself when she meets his eyes again, and she smiles. “It’s funny,” she says softly. “You’re the closest thing I have to a friend.”

Oh, and that hurts, but not in a ‘ _nice guy who just got friendzoned’_ bullshit kind of a way. No. It hurts in a ‘ _but we barely know each other, and you’re the nicest person I know, and you should have infinite friends, but also I only have two other friends who I talk to on a regular basis, so aren’t we a pair’_ kind of way.

“I think we’re friends,” Poe says firmly, and Rey’s answering smile is brilliant. “Yeah. We’re definitely friends.”

“Good,” Rey takes another sip of lemonade and knocks her foot against his hip again. “Good. You’re actually the fifth person who knows, I think.”

“Only the fifth?” Poe asks, curiously.

“Yeah. Ben, obviously. And then I assume he told his parents,” Rey lists. “And I told Luke last week.”

“Skywalker?” Poe clarifies, and Rey nods. _Why hasn’t she told her parents?_ He wonders briefly. _Maybe she doesn’t want them to know yet._

“He took it very well,” Rey says, residual relief apparent in her voice. “I mean, I’m not that surprised, the kid will be his grandniece or nephew.”

“Grandniece or neph—” Poe puzzles out loud before the pieces fall together in his head. “Oh – Oh god… Ben is…? He’s Luke’s nephew, so he’s –”

“Han and Leia Solo’s son, yeah.”

Former. President. Leia. Organa. Solo. AKA Poe’s first crush. AKA One of the most powerful political families of all time. Rey’s connection to Han Solo was already impressive, and now—now –

Poe’s still reeling when Rey chirps up with, “And I haven’t even had my sonogram yet, so you’re number five!”

“Yeah,” Poe nods, still slightly shocked at the revelation that Massive Mountain Boyfriend is Han Solo’s kid. “Wow. That’s um—really, seriously, thank you for trusting me with this, Sunshine.”

“I figured it’d be super obvious soon anyway,” Rey rolls her eyes and gestures at her abdomen. “This little bump appeared out of fucking nowhere this weekend. A little weird, honestly.”

“Yeah.” Poe nods at her assessment. “Motherhood is hardcore.”

“It really is,” Rey laughs admiringly, petting her hand over her stomach. She seems to realize what she’s doing, and she drops her hand to Bee’s fur instead, looking embarrassed. They sit in comfortable silence for what could be half a minute or half an hour, and then Rey clears her throat. “Not to dethrone Bee, but I have to go to a client meeting in half an hour.”

“Bee, up!” Poe commands. Bee rolls his eyes at him and settles in further to Rey’s lap. “Beast.”

“Bee, sweetie, can you get up?” Rey croons, and Bee sits up, licks her once on the chin, and then wanders away to go sit in his bed.

“Traitor,” Poe accuses. The corgi pays him no mind. “He already likes you better than me.” They stand up at the same time, and Rey grins at him cheerfully. “You’ll have to come over and visit him again or he’ll probably mutiny against me.”

“Fair enough,” Rey says, looking shy. “And thank you for listening, Poe. I – I really appreciate it.” She looks lost, so Poe holds his arms out, and she steps into the hug, gratefully. Her face buries into his neck, and Poe tries not to sigh at the feeling.

“If you need anything,” he tells her, arms tightening around her slightly. “Anything at all, you tell me, okay? I mean anything. Clogged toilet, even a really gross clog,” Rey laughs, wetly, “I’ll fix it. You need a cup of sugar, knock on the door. Any more annoying, heavy boxes, I’ll drag ‘em to the curb. Or even if you just want me to leave for an hour so you can hang out with Bee. Tell me, Sunshine, and I’ll help you.”

“Thank you,” Rey whispers into the air behind him. “Thanks, Poe.”

“Anytime,” Poe swears, and it’s the most solemn oath he’s ever given. “I’ll help you anytime, always.”

Rey hugs him back, tighter, and he closes his eyes, trying to will the universe to bend itself to work in her favor, wills it with everything he has, and then Poe knows. God, he knows.

This can only end in disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arranged Marriage AU should be up later tonight.
> 
>  
> 
> *Rubs hands together gleefully* What's self-control, again?


	3. Check-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes in for her sonogram

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a ~thing~

There’s a gentle knock on his door in mid-August, and Poe hopes he knows who it is before he opens the door.

He’s right, of course. Rey Kenobi’s on the other side, her baby bump more than just a bump now, more of a protrusion, but the rest of her is still so tiny, and the shadows under her eyes hurt him physically, and the look _in_ her eyes makes him want to die a little.

“Are you okay?” Poe asks, a little on edge, to be honest. Bee whines from his feet, looking up at Rey. She smiles at both of them, timidly, and then clears her throat.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Rey says, suddenly staring at the floor. “But…”

“But what?” Poe asks. “Seriously, Rey, you aren’t bothering me.” It’s true. She could never bother him, first of all, and second of all, he was just sitting around ripping his hair out over a panel of his most recent commission, and not really doing anything productive (In the last month or so, he’s helped Rey fix her shower, let her use his toaster when hers broke, and lent her an entire jar of peanut butter he never saw again, because she ate the whole thing with a spoon, a fact she was unapologetic about).

“I need to go in for my sonogram,” Rey whispers, cradling her stomach. “I’ve been putting it off, you know? And… my car won’t start, and I don’t want to take an Uber, and,” she sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, still impossibly beautiful and perfect enough to make the rest of time and space stand still around her.

God, Poe is so fucked.

“I can drive you,” he says, gently. “Really, I can drive you.”

“Yeah?” Rey sniffs, pathetically, again. “I can pay you for gas.”

“Nonsense,” Poe grabs his jacket off the hook near the door and walks out. “My mama would come back from the grave and kick my ass if I let you.” Rey laughs, a watery sound, at that, and Poe beams at her.

“I didn’t know your mother had passed away,” Rey says thoughtfully as they walk down the stairs. Poe fights the urge to put a hand at the small of her back, and only partly because he knows she’d punch him for trying. Rey’s capable, he knows. He’s here to help her, and if she asks, he can do things for her, but he won’t pretend to know what she needs.

“Yeah,” Poe opens the door for her, which he’d do if she weren’t pregnant, or even if she were a man. “Yeah, she died when I was ten.”

“Oh,” Rey smiles at him, and it isn’t quite sad, but it isn’t pity either, so he’ll take it. “What was she like?”

“Her name was Shara, and she was a pilot,” Poe says. “Very kind, very funny, very fierce. She and my dad had a fairy tale kind of relationship; met when they were kids, served in the military together – he was Army, though – and they only ever dated each other. He always said – says – she hung the moon. Shara was one in a billion. I loved her a lot. Still do.”

“That’s nice,” Rey smiles at him, and he does not, definitely does not, run around to her side of the car when they walk up to his Jeep to open her door. She gets in and fastens the seatbelt, and Poe fidgets with his hair in the window, discreetly, before getting in as well.

“What’s your mom like?” Poe asks after he’s backed the car out and has started to drive.

Rey looks determinedly out her window. “Couldn’t tell you,” she says, a note of false cheer in her voice.

“Oh,” Poe says because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah.” He sees her hands clench into fists on the scruffed up knees of her jeans, and he’s about to apologize or say something stupid, but Rey keeps talking. “Yeah, she would have had to stick around for me to know what she was like. Same with my dad.”

That’s….well, fuck. “That’s not great,” Poe could kick himself if he weren’t busy driving 78% more responsibly than normal. He even comes to a complete stop for three seconds at the exit to the complex.

Rey laughs, though, and it’s a real laugh. “Definitely not. If they were anything like my first foster father, I don’t mind not knowing them.” She folds in on herself, slightly.

“First?” Poe asks, hoping there’s a second, or later foster family who didn’t make this strong, proud woman look so haunted.

“Yeah,” and there she goes, looking cheerful again. “Yeah, I went to live with Ben Kenobi when I was twelve, he’d wanted to foster for a while, and he actually ended up adopting me when I was fourteen, and I told him I wanted him to. He said he would have done it right away, said he was always sure about me, but he wanted me to be sure of him.”

“He sounds wonderful,” Poe murmurs, trying not to stare at Rey while driving. He knows a lot about Ben Kenobi the legend, but not Ben Kenobi the person; this is a look into one of his childhood heroes that he never could have imagined being given.

“He was. He died a few years ago, as I’m sure you know because it was national news, but he was almost eighty, so it wasn’t so bad, ya know? I was expecting it, and he had a huge life.” Her hands expand in the air in front of her before settling back around her stomach, her arms always protecting herself, always blocking herself from some unknown, unannounced danger. “I would have liked for him to have met his grandkid, though.”

Poe’s heart cannot, can _not_ take the strain of Rey Kenobi telling him all this; how hard her life sounded, how little love she’s known, how the one person it sounds like she had is _gone._ Shara’s dead, yeah, but he has Finn, and Rose, and Kes, and all his extended family. Poe’s known love his whole life, and he hates, _hates_ that Ben Solo had fucked up to the point where Rey has to do this alone, not that she needs him, or anyone, to help her, but God, she looks so sad and lost, and everything he knows about Ben tells him that he’s, well, a bastard that doesn’t deserve a second of Rey’s time.

They sit in pleasant silence for the rest of the ride to the doctor’s office. Once there, Poe bounces his knee while he waits for Rey to finish filling out the paperwork. The hard plastic of the waiting room chair is tough on his back, the injury still causing him discomfort almost a year after the crash, but he does his best to ignore it so he can keep smiling at Rey when she looks over at him.

“I don’t have an emergency contact,” he overhears her tell the receptionist. Poe stands, frowning, and before the woman can open her mouth and say anything that might upset Rey, he walks over and stands next to her.

“Put me down,” Poe says, shrugging. “They just need to be able to say there’s someone to pick you up after any procedures.” He smiles at the receptionist and then Rey. “We’re neighbors, and you know I’m happy to give you a ride, and I live close by in case anything goes wrong, ever. No big deal.”

“Oh.” Rey blushes, probably in frustration that he’s overstepped, but then she nods. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

She fills out “Poe Dameron,” and he reminds her of his phone number when she looks at him expectantly; and then, her hand hovers over the box for “relationship to patient.”

He half expects her to put down “neighbor,” or “That guy from 1B who I’m totally aware has a massive crush on me, a big ol’ heart boner that he got the second I walked by his door the same time, pretty sure he doodles my name and his name together over and over again in tiny little hearts in his sketchbook when he should be working,” but instead, she puts “friend.”

And that puts a little bit of skip in his step when they walk back to the sitting area.

***

She surprises him again when the nurse calls her back; Rey stands up, and then looks over her shoulder at him.

“Are you coming?” Rey asks nervously. “I mean, you don’t have to, obviously, I just –” she peters off looking sad.

“Of course I’m coming,” Poe nods with finality. “I’m there. Always, anytime, Sunshine.” Her answering smile lives up to the name, and he follows her through the door and down the hall to the exam room. The nurse takes her vitals and then hands Rey a gown.

“I’ll step outside and give you some privacy, and then the technician will be by for the ultrasound,” the nurse chirps before leaving, the door clicking shut behind her.

“Me too,” Poe nods, remembering that he _hasn’t seen Rey naked,_ and now is _not the time to think about Rey, his pregnant, vulnerable friend, naked._ “I’ll be outside too, Sunshine.”

“Okay,” she whispers, holding the gown to her chest, looking pale under the fluorescent lights.

Poe squeezes her arm reassuringly, which manages to get a smile out of her, and then he steps out into the hallway and counts back from 100. The technician shows up halfway through the countdown, and Poe nods at him in greeting, and the man nods back, looking at him weirdly.

Poe doesn’t need to explain anything to this guy, and when he knocks on the door to announce that he’s coming in, Poe lets him walk through first. Rey spots him over the tech’s shoulder and looks relieved; and that makes him want to run to her side and curl up around her, behind her, at her feet. She must have thought he’d _abandon_ her to look so relieved at his return. God, as if he’d do that. As if he could actually leave her.

Yeah. Poe’s fucked.

Rey lies back when instructed, and pulls her gown up for the technician when he asks, a blanket over her legs. Poe sits near her shoulder, staring resolutely at the screen where the sonogram will appear, when Rey tugs on his sleeve. He looks down at her and she holds out her hand, her bony elbow bent at an angle that lets her reach him in his current location, and Poe scoots his folding chair a little closer so he can wrap her hand in both of his.

“You’re going to be fine,” he whispers to her. The technician warns her that the gel will be a little cold, and Rey nods distantly, her eyes not leaving Poe’s face. “Everything’s going to be fine,” he promises her, not that it’s his place to promise her that, but he’ll fight the entire universe himself to make sure that stays true.

A strange thrumming sound emits from the machine, and Rey squeezes his fingers. Poe fights the urge to kiss her forehead, but he does lift one hand to brush strands of hair from her face, and he leaves his hand tangled in her hair. Rey smiles at him, and Poe smiles back, an easy push and pull between them – his smile makes her smile, and hers encourages his, a feedback loop he doesn’t want to break.

“Alright, everything’s looking good, mom,” the technician breaks their quiet moment, and both look over at him, Rey lifting her head slightly to get a good look at the screen.

“Really?” Rey asks, her hand tightening into a death grip on Poe. “It’s healthy?”

“ _Both_ babies are healthy!” The technician declares.

“I’m sorry, what?” Poe asks politely, and Rey drops his hand.

She stares at the ultrasound in silent shock, and Poe strokes his hand through her hair, trying to soothe her.

“Both heartbeats are strong, see?” The technician keeps moving the wand around, and then looks at Rey, realizing his mistake. “Oh. Uh. Did you not know?”

“That motherfucker,” Rey swears. “Oh, that motherfucking –”

“Uh,” the technician turns bright red. “So, yeah, you’re having twins.”

“No, I’m sorry, you must be wrong,” Rey says, suddenly polite. “See, twins run in _Ben’s_ family, but it wouldn’t matter because it’s how _my_ eggs split, right? So, he couldn’t have fucked me over, again. Right?” She looks up at Poe, expectantly, and he coughs awkwardly. Rey takes his hand again and tugs on it. “Right, Poe? Tell the nice man, that’s not how genetics work.”

“Rey,” Poe whispers, and he kneels down off the chair, so he’s not looking down, but rather up, at her for this. “Rey, sweetheart, you just told me you don’t know anything about your family, right?” Rey nods, frowning at the technician, who looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “So, Rey, twins could also run in your family, and you might not know it. Or this could just be an anomaly. Either way, look –” He points at the screen. “That’s two heartbeats, yeah?”

“Oh, fuck,” Rey squeezes Poe’s hand, and he brings his other hand up to cup hers. “Oh, God.”

“It’ll be okay,” Poe murmurs. “It’ll be fine.”

“Do you want a copy of your babies’ video?” The tech asks, artificially cheerful.

“Do you think you could give us a fucking minute?” Poe snaps. The man pales and walks out of the room.

Rey’s close to hyperventilating, so Poe stands up to sit on the exam table next to her. He grabs her arms gently, and pulls even more gently, saying, “Come on, sweetheart, come here,” and Rey goes willingly, her gown falling down to cover her abdomen once more while she moves. Poe pulls her into his arms, wrapping her up in a tight hug as his hand rubs circles onto her back. “It’s going to be okay,” he promises her, again. He should really stop making promises he has no control over.

“I barely thought I could do this when there was just one,” Rey admits, her shoulders shaking slightly from the revelation. “And now two? Two babies, Poe?”

“Two babies,” Poe confirms, resting his chin on her shoulder. “And you can do this. It’s going to be really tough, and scary as shit, but you got me in your corner Sunshine.” When she doesn’t say anything, he adds, “And just think about how they’re going to terrorize Bee. Beast’s had it coming for years.”

Rey laughs at that, shakily, and Poe smiles into her shoulder.

“There we go,” he murmurs. “You can do anything, Sunshine. And those kids are gonna love you.” As if anyone couldn't love her.

“I’m scared, Poe,” she says, pulling away from the hug but taking his hand. “I’m so scared.”

Poe leans forward until his forehead rests against hers, and she pulls his hand to cover her bump over the gown. “I know, Sunshine,” he says. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was going to be angstier but I'll save that for ch. 4 (aka Ben is awful aka the arrival of Finn and Rose)


	4. Diversion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rose meet Rey after an unfriendly face shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Ben shows up and is verbally/physically intimidating (tries to confront Rey/wants her to talk to him, she doesn't want to see him)

Poe sits down across from his best friends at their favorite local dive bar, The Cantina, and he grins at them.

“How was the honeymoon?” He smiles at their joined hands before he amends, “Sorry, second honeymoon.”

“Great,” Rose Tico leans into Finn’s shoulder briefly, and they exchange a look of such pure, unquestionable love that Poe’s heart aches a little.

He’d been one of five people present at their wedding six months ago – his father, another guest – and he’d hated saying no to them when they invited him on their second trip, to Europe. Their other friend Connix and her wife, Jess, had gone with them.

His excuse at the time had been not wanting to be a fifth wheel; but really, Poe hasn’t been in an airplane since the crash.

“It was good, yeah,” Finn nods enthusiastically. “Kissed the Blarney Stone, climbed a few big hills, saw a lot of sheep – but, more importantly, how’s the cute neighbor?”

“Smooth, Tico,” Rose rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her pint. “Real smooth.”

“You married me,” Finn points out, looking unbothered. “Even let me take your last name.”

“Fair point.” They take a moment to rub their noses together, and Finn giggles lightly before turning to Poe with an expectant look on his face. “So?” Rose asks for both of them, her own eyebrows lifted. “Cute girl?”

“Cute girl,” Poe scratches at the label on his cider. “Rey’s, uh – she’s good.”

“Rey?” Finn lights up like the fourth of July. “You know her name now?”

“Yeah,” Poe smiles at them. “She and I are kind of friends. She was actually over last night, we cooked dinner together, and then she walked Bee for me.” Because his own back had hurt too much to walk down the stairs, but they don’t need to know that. Rey had been all too happy to go outside after a day of being cooped up at her office.

Finn and Rose exchange a _look._ A married couple’s look.

A smug look.

“So, she’s your girlfriend now?” Rose clarifies.

Poe shakes his head. “Nah, it’s not like that.” _No matter how much I wish it was._

“Bet you wish it was,” Finn grins at him. Bastard, reading his mind. Finn always does freaky stuff like that; he’s weirdly intuitive, and if Poe didn’t know any better, he’d think the guy was some kind of wizard.

“Shut up. She doesn’t think of me that way, and she’s … not in a good place right now. I just wanna be there for her, you know?” Poe grimaces into his cider and then takes a drink. He scowls at the table, and when he looks back up, Rose looks at him with obvious sympathy in her eyes.

“So, when do we get to meet the girl you fell in love with?” She asks, her mirth well contained at this point. “Come on, Dameron, we’re your best friends. We should get to meet her.”

“Uh.” _How does five months from now sound? Then you can meet **three** people – a three for one deal. _ “I’ll – ask her later? Like I said, she’s not in a good place right now.”

Poe realizes that he never actually denied Rose’s assessment, her statement that he’s in love with Rey.

Whatever. Poe’s never been much of a liar, and Rose and Finn can be real assholes, but they wouldn’t make fun of him for falling in love. It’s happened so rarely they might be surprised, but they won’t be mean about it. And they’ll love Rey, they’ll understand the second they meet her. He knows they will.

“Sounds good,” Finn nods. “I’m going to get another beer, you want anything?” Rose says yes, but Poe shakes his head. He gets too sleepy these days, at the ripe old age of 34, if he has more than one or two drinks. Finn walks away after kissing his wife’s forehead, and then she fixes Poe with an original Rose Tico All-Seeing Glare™.

“You aren’t telling us something,” she accuses, not unkindly. “Do you need to talk about it?”

Poe feels queasy. He really, really does need to talk about it, but it’s not his story to tell. He’s talked about it in therapy – and he’d had it out with Dr. Mothma over his perceived ‘need to be in control all the time’ and how this was a ‘manifestation of his guilt that he couldn’t save his squadron,’ – but it’s different than talking to his friends.

“Not mine to tell,” he says weakly. “But – she’s in trouble. Sort of? She’s really competent and capable, and I’m not worried for her, but I’m worried anyway, you know?”

“Yeah,” Rose smiles at him, reaching across the table to squeeze his forearm. “You always were good at worrying. Even if it isn’t something you caused, or something you can fix.”

They don’t talk about that thing, that thing where Paige Tico had died under his command. They don’t talk about it, because Poe always cries, and Rose always yells at him for crying over something that was her sister’s decision, and it circles around and around until Finn snaps them both out of it.

Rose’s hand is warm on Poe’s forearm, and he closes his eyes briefly.

“Rey’s problem isn’t something I can fix, I know that,” Poe opens his eyes and smiles tiredly at Rose. “But I just want to help her with it. She’s – she doesn’t have anyone, and it breaks my heart, Rose. She’s one of the best people I’ve ever known, she’s kind and smart and really funny, and she can kick my ass and I’d probably say thanks. But she doesn’t have a support system, and I really don’t get it, how she can be so alone.”

“One person can’t be a support system,” Rose says gently. “No matter how incredible you are Poe, and you are incredible. But, I’m sure you’re helping her a lot, because you have a good heart. Does it bother you, though, that she doesn’t see you the way you see her?”

“It’s not like that,” Poe protests, and he shakes his head when Rose arches a brow at him suspiciously. “It isn’t. I’d like more with her, yeah, but it’s not a matter of seeing her like that. I know the reality of the situation, and I know who she is. I barely know her, but I know who she is; it’s like she’s been there my whole life, sometimes. And God – there isn’t anyone in this world on her side. So, I’m going to be on her side, in any way she needs me to be.”

“You’re a good man, Poe Dameron,” Rose releases his forearm as Finn walks back up to the table, carrying two pints.

“Yeah, you are!” Finn grins at him. “Wait, why?”

***

Rose and Finn are over to visit Bee a week later when they accidentally discover the truth.

They’re sitting around his counter around 10:00 a.m., Finn and Poe debating over whether the zoo or the botanical gardens are a better choice for this fine Saturday morning in September, when they hear a loud knock outside, not at Poe’s door, but close.

“That’s weird,” Finn’s forehead wrinkles.

“Yeah,” Poe’s stomach twists. “That is weird.”

There’s silence for a few seconds, and Finn opens his mouth, probably to argue about the damn walruses again, when the knocking resumes, louder this time, powerful enough that the hook next to Poe’s door rattles ominiously.

“Rey! Open this _fucking_ door!” It’s a man’s voice, deep, and Poe tenses. He’s heard that voice yell before.

“Rey?” Rose pales. “Isn’t that –”

“Yep,” Poe scowls and grabs his phone. “Let me see if she’s home, or if she wants to call the cops, or if she wants me to go kick his ass.”

“Is that the trouble?” Rose whispers to him, staring at the door in concern as Ben Solo starts shouting again.

“You can’t ignore me forever, Rey!” More banging follows that proclamation.

“Like fuck she can,” Poe mutters, scowling and dialing.

“That’s my fucking kid, too!” Ben screams, and then Rose and Finn look at Poe in shock.

He’s dialing Rey’s number and rolls his eyes at them. “Cat’s out of the bag.” Then, an idea occurs to him.

He tells Finn and Rose quickly, and they nod. They take the news that the girl from 1C (the one that their best friend is Definitely, Completely, Irrevocably in Love With) is pregnant in stride, and then they jog to the patio door, disappearing outside, Finn briefly popping into the alcove at the edge of the kitchen to snag Poe’s bathrobe from where it’s folded on top of the laundry machine.

Rey finally picks up.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s Poe.”

Her voice is low and frightened when she responds, and that hits him like a punch to the gut. “Hey, Poe. I’m sorry, but this isn’t really a good—” There’s a banging in the hall again, echoed over the phone.

“I know, sweetheart, I know. Look, two of my buddies are coming around to your side of the building. I know you might not have a reason to trust me, but in about twenty seconds, unlock your patio door, open it, and then hide in the bathroom, okay?”

“Okay. I trust you.” Rey whispers. “I’m sorry that Ben’s making a racket, I just – wait. A man wearing a bathrobe and slippers just climbed onto my back porch?”

“Yeah, that’s Finn, he’s a great guy. Rose’ll be there too in a second. Go on, open the door, we’ll take care of everything else.”

“…Okay.”

“When you open the door, tell Finn, I said _showtime._ ”

Poe hangs up, pulls a baggy sweater on, yanks a bowl out of the cupboard and fills it to the brim with cornflakes, and then milk.

Carrying his bowl of cereal and a spoon to the entrance of his apartment, he throws the door open, and casually leans against the inside of the frame.

“Hey,” he says, taking an obnoxiously large bite of cereal. “What’s up, dude?” He asks through the crunching.

Ben pivots and sees him standing there, and he doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. “It’s not quiet hours,” he snaps. “I have every right to be here.”

“Do you?” Poe asks, brow furrowed. “How do you even know the Ticos?”

“The Ticos?” Ben asks, and if he wasn’t terrorizing the pregnant girl Poe ~~loves~~ cares about, Poe might laugh at the way his head whips around so he can check the number on the door. “No, Rey Kenobi lives here.”

“Rey?” Poe asks, taking another bite of cereal. “Pretty girl, like 5’6”, 5’7”, brown hair, freckles?”

“That’s the one,” Ben spits through gritted teeth. Poe notes the clenched fists. Yeah, he’s not coming within twenty feet of Rey ever again.

“Yeah, Rey,” Poe shrugs and takes another massive bite of cornflakes. Through the mouthful, he says, “Chick moved out like, three weeks ago. She not tell you, dude?” He swallows, loudly, and then slurps some milk out of the bowl, like the boorish, uncaring neighbor that he is.

“Fuck you, _dude_ ,” Ben bangs on the door. “Rey Kenobi, I know you’re in there.”

The door swings open, and Finn walks out, yawning. Rose appears, her arms wrapped around his middle, head nestled into his shoulder, hair in a disarray. The door closes behind them, quickly. “Can we help you?” Finn asks, the portrait of a man irritated for being interrupted during a personal moment.

“Uh,” Ben turns beet red and stares at them. “Rey, are you in there?”

“Our dog’s name is Arthur,” Finn supplies, helpfully. “Did you lose someone? Was it that rabbit that I saw hopping around earlier?”

Poe rolls his eyes at Rose from behind Ben, and she hides her smile in her husband’s chest.

“Anyway, no one in here besides me and my wife,” Finn shrugs.

“Do you mind me coming in and taking a look?” Ben asks, deflating somewhat.

“Yeah, no, we’re not super okay with a stranger coming into our apartment, right honey?”

Rose chooses that moment to say something to Finn in Vietnamese, and Finn smiles down at her. “She said you’re welcome to join us, actually. She does like to watch.”

“Uh.” Ben backs away, hands shoved in pockets. “I’m good…thanks.” He turns and Poe sees that he looks slightly ruffled. Finn opens the door quickly and pulls Rose back inside before Ben can see that it’s still obviously Rey’s things inside.

“Did she say where she was going?” Ben asks, tersely.

Poe’s almost done with the cornflakes, and he examines the remains of the milk dispassionately. “Who, the rabbit?”

“Rey.” Ben does not look amused, so yeah, this was definitely successful.

“Something about Arizona,” Poe says, remembering the detail of where she grew up, and hoping that it’ll be enough to distract this asshole and keep him away for a while. “Something about…an uncle? I don’t know, I just helped her move a few boxes.”

“Thanks.” Ben nods and walks out of the building quickly. Poe waits for the door to slam shut and the lock to click (and yeah, he’ll be having a fuckin’ talk with the super about reminding tenants to _not_ hold the door for random, awful exes) before he crosses over to Rey’s door and knocks gently.

“It’s me,” he says, loud enough to be heard through the door. “The jackass has left the building.”

“Password?” Finn drawls from inside.

“You’re going to eat my foot if you don’t open that door.”

The door opens to reveal Rey, cradling her now noticeably swollen stomach and smiling worriedly.

“I wouldn’t actually … feed him …” Poe trails off, blushing.

Rey gestures for him to come in, and he smiles at her awkwardly. They group around Rey’s dining room table, Rey at Poe’s side and Rose and Finn across from them; and there’s a slightly awkward round of introductions. Finn and Rose look delighted to shake Rey’s hand, and they keep shooting glances that could really be more furtive at him. Rey looks forcibly polite, and more than a little stressed, understandably.

“So, what on earth did you say to that guy, Tico?” Poe asks. She grins, evilly.

 “I said, ‘invite that weird-looking white man to have sex with you, and see if he shits himself,” Rose answers. Rey laughs, clutching her side as she grips the table, and while she laughs, she lifts a hand to reach out to grip Poe’s hand. He squeezes her hand, chuckling himself, and pointedly ignores Rose and Finn’s look of glee.

“Oh, I like you,” Rey says, wiping tears from her eyes, and Rose smiles at her. “But what would you have done if he’d said yes?”

“Commit, probably,” Rose shrugs, and Finn chokes on nothing. They all laugh, again, and Poe takes the opportunity to watch Rey throw her head back and laugh, something looser in her shoulders than when he’d walked in. She must have been worried about Rose and Finn’s reaction to her pregnancy, he realizes, but he hopes she won’t mind his solution to the Ben problem.

He’s worried it’s more temporary than anything else – and he’s more worried than ever over why they broke up, after that performance - but for now, they can stand in her dining room and laugh, and be happy and content in the knowledge that Ben Solo won’t be back for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we learn about why Rey kicked Ben out of her life (angst alert)
> 
>  
> 
> Also, this is post #1 for May the Fourth! I will ambitiously try to post three more things (different fics) by midnight tonight! Wish me luck and may the force be with you.


	5. Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe learns more about Rey, as she grows to trust him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: a lot of this chapter is conversations, and Rey tells Poe why she and Ben broke up. It's mostly based on the dialogue from TLJ where he calls her nothing, but it's also a little more intense than that (and yeah, Ben's definitely a bad guy in this fic - he isn't always in my fics, but I just want to let you know b/c I know some people like Kylo but also Damerey and I'm not trying to ruin anyone's day!).
> 
> See end notes if you need specific warnings!
> 
> Other Warnings: Rey references her childhood abuse before she went to live with Ben Kenobi

Poe wakes up to a series of kisses pressed into his bare chest, right below his collarbone.

“Hm,” he sighs contentedly without opening his eyes. “That feels nice, sweetheart.”

“Yeah?” The kisses get a little dirtier, a small amount of tongue dragging against his skin. “How about now?”

“Very nice, but you don’t have to do that,” he laughs, finally opening his eyes to greet the day, soft light breaking through his window, and illuminating his beautiful partner while she kneels on the bed next to him.

He’s been waiting a lifetime for her, he realizes. A lifetime of waiting, and it happened in the weirdest way, but God, he’d wait a thousand more lifetimes for a single perfect moment like this. Rey Kenobi shines brighter than the morning sun, a sweet smile playing at her lovely mouth, and Poe can’t help but smile in return, a bubble of happiness so golden and perfect he almost cries from the feeling.

Rey scratches her nails gently across his chest, and he almost purrs at that, combined with the sight of her wearing nothing but his shirt, still a little too big on her, even with the added stretch around her stomach.

“What if I want to do it?” she asks, sweetly, tilting her head while she smiles at him. It’s unfair, how gorgeous she is in the morning, but Poe knows it only makes sense. Rey’s always perfect. Always.

“Well, I wouldn’t fight you,” he admits, and she giggles, and he swears the sound breaks into a million fragments of light as it leaves her mouth. “I might ask if I can make you feel good, first, though.”

“What a gentleman,” Rey sighs, and he smiles at her, so happy he thinks his fingers are tingling from it.

There’s an annoying sound, then, an obnoxious beeping, and his window’s open, so it must be the dump truck backing up outside. Poe wrinkles his nose, and Rey laughs, her finger reaching out to stroke over the skin, trying to smooth out the wrinkle.

“I love you,” he tells her, suddenly desperate for her to know. He grabs her hand and lifts it to his mouth so he can kiss each knuckle. He rests her hand, wrapped in his, on the ring on his chest, and the metal burns his skin to the point that he wonders if it burns hers, too. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I know,” Rey laughs again, and she leans down, her small hand pressing into his chest while she hovers over his mouth to whisper, “But it’s time to wake up, darling.” Her lips press into his, and Poe spasms, gasping for air and sitting bolt upright in his bed.

His _empty_ bed: there’s no sun coming through his window. Instead, rain lashes at the pane on a nasty, cold mid-October morning, and his alarm rings shrilly next to the bed, the clock reading 06:00. Poe pants, slightly, blinking awake more fully, and then he wipes his eyes hastily with the back of his hand and slides out of bed, preparing for the day as well as he can with the seemingly permanent dark hole burning at the bottom of his chest.

***

Rey comes over the next day to walk Bee, a pattern she’s established after work during the week. He joins her sometimes, but sometimes she just wants to be alone, and he’s trying to figure out what kind of day it is.

She’s scowling when she walks in and grunts in response to his greeting, which is a pretty good indicator that she doesn’t want him to talk to her, so he hands her Bee’s leash, and waits at the kitchen counter for them to come back.

“Rough day?” He asks, concerned, when she walks back in.

“Yeah,” Rey sighs and gives him a tight smile. She hangs up Bee’s leash and walks over to the counter, her hand twisted behind her to brace the small of her back. “Sorry, just – didn’t sleep well last night, and work was fucking awful. Luke wouldn’t let me do anything, and we were supposed to be doing a hands-on test of a design that _I_ made. Something about welding and pregnancy not meshing, I guess.”

Poe snorts despite himself, and the answering glower he gets makes him shrink slightly. “Oh!” he says, remembering. “Oh, I got you something, Sunshine!” He runs to the fridge and comes back with a bag and a milkshake.

He hands her the chocolate milkshake, and Rey takes it, the first real smile of the afternoon on her face. “What’s in the bag?” She asks, curiously, already slurping on the shake.

He takes out a small tub from the black and tan bag and hands it to her. “I walked into that weird smelling store at the mall,” he tells her. He doesn’t tell her that it was his first time in a mall since his accident, the first time he was able to handle a crowd without having a complete meltdown, because this isn’t about that.

“Lush?” Rey asks.

“Yeah, that one,” Poe nods. “So, I talked to one of the people behind the counter,” and God, they were so friendly and knew so much and what even was that place, he still smells like roses, “and I told them I had a friend whose skin had been hurting from stretching, and they said this like, butter? stuff? was really helpful and could actually stop your skin from scarring.” He smiles at her, and slides the tub across the counter at her.

Rey does not look happy at the idea. In fact, she looks weirdly frustrated.

“Uh,” he clears his throat. “Was that the wrong thing to do?”

She shakes her head, almost violently, and cradles her stomach. “You can’t just –” she shakes her head more, and her lips pinch shut.

“I can’t what?” Poe asks warily. He’s fucked up somehow, he knows, but he wants to know how and why so he won’t do it again.

“It’s just, why are you so nice to me?” Rey snaps, one arm folded across her abdomen, the other in the air, gesturing angrily as she asks him that.

“Uh? Because you’re nice?” Poe suggests, confused at the question. “And I like doing nice things for you because you’re my friend?”

“Ugh.” Rey literally stomps her foot, and Poe stares in wonderment. He didn’t know people actually did that.

“Is there – is there something else wrong?” He asks, frowning.

“It’s you!” Rey says, and Poe thinks it’d be better if she just stabbed him, thanks. “You’re so fucking nice to me, and I don’t deserve it. I do literally fucking nothing for you, and you’re nice to me all the goddamn time. You’re so – so _good,_ and it makes me want to scream. You’re helpful, and kind, and always, always there and I’ve done nothing to deserve it. So—so, just tell me what it is you want from me.”

She must know, then. She has to know that he loves her.

“Nothing,” he reassures her quickly. It’s the truth, and he hopes that helps his case. “I don’t want or need anything from you Rey, I swear. I just – I care about you. I want to help you, and I care about you.”

Rey bursts into tears, and he walks forward quickly, hands raised in front him nervously so she has time to see him coming and has time to tell him to fuck off. She looks at him through tear-filled eyes, and he gently lifts the milkshake out of her hand and sets it on the counter.

“You shouldn’t,” Rey sobs. “You shouldn’t care about me.”

“Yes I should,” Poe frowns. “I do care about you, and I want to help you because I worry about you.” _Oh, phrasing, Dameron._

“Because you know better than me? Because I’m so helpless? Because I’m a fucking damsel in distress?” She’s angry again, and Poe’s pretty sure he has whiplash. Still, none of this particularly really feels like it’s…about _him_ … and he’s been in his fair share of lover’s spats (not that Rey’s his lover, but, whatever, he still has experience in an abundance of passion, for better or worse), so he lets her finish it out and backs up to give her some room. “I can fucking do this myself, Poe.”

“I know you can,” he tells her earnestly. “You can do anything, Sunshine. I know you can—”

“You’re just like Ben,” she sobs harder, not listening to him, and Poe physically stumbles back more.

“What?” He asks, aghast.

“He was the same way, always trying to tell me what I needed, how I should fix it, what shit I should and could buy, controlling every fucking part of my day –”

“ _Holy--_ ” Poe breaks in, hands raised in supplication. “Whoa, Sunshine, I didn’t – I’m sorry if I overstepped, but I don’t think I was trying to do that at all. I’m sorry if I was, but I really – of course you know what’s best for yourself, you’re your own person, and I have nothing but respect for you, and –”

“I know,” Rey wails, and Bee whines imploringly, hopping up to rest his paws on her thigh. It’s a lot of effort for the chubby dog, and Rey kneels down, sniffling, to scratch under his chin. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” She shakes her head, and then her whole body is shaking, and Poe walks close to her again to kneel next to her. “You aren’t like that, I know that, I don’t know why I said all that.”

“I’m sorry too,” Poe says, frowning. “I – I shouldn’t do shit for you unless you ask me to, I’m sorry, I probably did overstep.”

“Don’t,” Rey laughs through her tears and she manages a real smile. “Don’t be so…so _Poe Dameron,_ about this, Dameron.”

“What?” Poe smiles back at her, confused, but feeling slightly less anxious.

“You know, all kind and martyr-y and Mr. Hero Who Saves the Day,” Rey wipes her nose and rests her hand on her stomach. “AKA Poe Dameron. AKA Guy Who’s Way Too Nice To Me…”

“I’m not,” Poe objects, immediately. “I’m not too nice to you, I’m the right amount of nice to you.”

Rey rolls her eyes and gives him a look as if to say, _that’s exactly what I’m fucking talking about._ “Regardless, you don’t get to apologize, or I’ll…sic Bee on you. We both know he listens to me more than you at this point.” It’s absolutely true, and Poe grins at her for it. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I know my pregnancy hormones are making my mood go all over the place recently, but it’s no excuse for yelling at you. So, I’m very sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Poe reaches out slowly and sets his hand on her shoulder. “Sounds like you’ve had a shit time recently. Wanna go for a walk and talk about it?” Rey nods, and she smiles tensely, and Poe takes a deep breath before standing up.

 _Into the eye of the storm,_ he thinks, before heading out the door with the girl he definitely loves, and her two passengers that he might also probably love a little bit, despite the growing cloud of worry over his head regarding what the father of those passengers might have done to inspire such a reaction in their mother.

***

They walk in silence to the park, and eventually they reach a nice bench that sits in the dying sunlight, and Poe has to break the silence, he has to.

“So, sweetheart,” Poe adopts what he hopes is a conversational tone. “Why did you and Ben break up?”

Rey tenses like a wild animal, and Poe regrets saying anything, so he says, “God, sorry, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No.” Rey smiles at him, sadly, and he hands her the milkshake that he’d swiped from the counter on the way out the door. She sits on the park bench and he follows, sitting close enough that she could grab his hand or arm if she needed support, but far away enough that he isn’t close enough to physically box her in. He has a feeling that she feels a little cornered. “No, it's just, I… I haven’t told anyone. It could be good for me to talk about. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Yes,” Poe nods, once. “Yes, Rey, but really, only if you want to. And it doesn’t have to be right now. It can be … whenever.”

There’s a beat of silence, and it looks like she’s steeling herself. Poe puts his hand down on the bench between them, more for balance than anything else as he twists to look at her more fully, and Rey takes his hand. It’s sad, really, how happy it makes him, even as anxiety claws at his throat.

“We – we fought, all the time.” Rey begins with that, and Poe nods. He’d heard as much through the walls, but he doesn’t want to say that. “It didn’t help that we were never actually together, but it got really bad sometimes. He usually said I was nothing.” Rey stares straight ahead, fists clenched on her thighs. “Tried to tell me that I was nobody, next to dirt, garbage – but then he’d turn it around and say that he was the only person in the world who didn’t think that. And – well, you know. I don’t have a lot of people in my life. It didn’t bother me the first few times he said stuff like that, but one day we were having a fight, about two weeks or so before I told you about the pregnancy, and it got – it got really bad.”

He might as well be honest with her, she deserves it.

“I heard,” Poe says. “I almost called the cops, but then you kicked him out.”

“Of course you heard,” Rey laughs, but it isn’t a happy sound. She puts her other hand on his, and she begins to play with his fingers, delicately, stroking her hands over them, tapping at his knuckles. It helps to quell the anxiety in his chest, but he still stares at her with open concern. “Well, basically, we were fighting over my personal choice regarding the apartment – he really wanted me to move in with him, even offered to give me a separate bedroom or buy a house so I could have my own floor, and I told him it wouldn’t ever be like that between us. So, we started screaming at each other, and he said some really awful things, and so did I, but then he got really worked up and waved his hands around while yelling, and he got really, really close to me.”

Poe tenses, bile in his throat. “Fuck, Sunshine, did he –”

Rey shakes her head. “No, no, he never actually hit me, but – the fact that I thought he _might,_ that my survivor’s instinct told me he was capable of that? It freaked me out, and I told him that I didn’t want him or his shitty temper anywhere near my kid. Anyway, he told me I was overreacting, and I told him to get the fuck out.”

“Good for you,” Poe says, firmly. “You’re – you were absolutely right to. No one has any right to make someone feel like that, Sunshine, and that guy doesn’t fucking deserve a second of your time.”

“Thanks.” Rey smiles at him softly, and squeezes his hand. “I just – he didn’t know this about me, no one alive knows this, but – even though he didn’t hit me, it felt like he did, because it brought me back to – a not so great time in my life ” Rey whispers now, staring at their hands, and Poe leans in, trying to hear her, heart pounding, trying his hardest not to bite through his tongue in fear. “I was beaten as a child, all the time. I lived with a horrible man for the first seven years I was in foster care, and he used me like a punching bag. I couldn’t sleep sometimes because too much of my body was bruised.” She sniffs, and Poe lets go of her hand so he can wrap his arm around her shoulders. Rey scoots in, her milkshake abandoned at the edge of the bench, and rests her head on his shoulder. Her left hand reaches across their bodies, and he reaches back with his right to lace their fingers together.

“I could have taken what Ben was saying, you know? Because he was always, always so nice after he’d been cruel. And he does have a lot of issues. He has a drinking problem, and – and some sort of mood thing. Not that that’s an excuse, or even a normal thing for people to respond to with violence or cruelty, but he … he had a reason for being an ass, sometimes. But when he almost hit me,” Rey shakes her head, tears evident in her voice. “It’s like I could see every horrible thing my first foster father did to me, all the times he hit me, all the times he made me feel less than, all the times I was afraid for my life when I was too damn young to be that scared. And I realized that I couldn’t let my child…. Children, I guess….be around that, even if it stayed just verbal. So I threw him out.”

She sniffs again, clearly done talking for a minute, and Poe sits quietly for a moment, reeling from her confession. He turns his head and kisses the top of hers, gently, and rubs his left hand up and down her arm.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” he says. “I know I said that earlier, but I mean it, Rey. I fucking mean that more than I’ve ever meant anything. And, I’d fight the entire world if I had to, if it meant you’d never have to feel that way again, but you have to know … you told me I thought you were a damsel in distress? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. You’re impressive, and strong, and the hero of your own goddamn story, and I hate that Ben Solo made you doubt that for a second. You’re going to be an amazing mother, and those babies going to have a strong, powerful role model and they’re going to love you so fucking much, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” Rey whispers, and her shoulders are shaking in a way that he knows means that she’s crying. He digs in the pocket of his jacket and pulls out a pack of Kleenex, which he hands to her without another word.

Rey blows her nose, indelicately, and he kisses the top of her head again. They sit together in the park for another ten minutes, and halfway through that time, Rey twines her ankle around his and turns so her nose presses into his neck. It’s the sweetest possible torture Poe could ever devise, and he ignores the burning pain in his back, the screaming nerves that tell him he’ll pay for this tomorrow morning, because there’s nothing more important than just being here for Rey, being here in any capacity she needs him, supporting her on this impossible journey that no one should have to do alone.

“Poe?” She says, after they’ve walked back, and they’re standing in front of their doors. Their hands are still linked, and Poe tries not to focus on that.

“Yeah, Sunshine?”

“I need to tell you something, but I’m worried it will upset you.” She chews her lip, and Poe smiles at her reassuringly.

“You can tell me anything, say anything, and I’d still be here for you,” he promises her. “Remember. Anything you need, and I’ll be there. Any time, always.”

“That’s exactly the point, I just,” Rey shakes her head and averts her eyes. “Never mind. I – I’ll tell you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Poe nods, and then he lets go of her hands and holds his arms out. She steps into him, her body fitting his perfectly, her chin on his shoulder, his arms around her back. “Tell me whenever you want, sweetheart.” And he tries not to worry about what it is; he tries not to worry about all the things he needs to tell her.

Today was big enough; no need to stress her out more with the knowledge that he loves her so much more than he ever thought possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilery warnings about why Rey dumped Ben:  
> He was flat out verbally abusive to her, and once when they were fighting, he raised his hands while talking and she flinched. In my own head, he wouldn't have hit her (b/c even in the films, I don't think he'd be like that? More manipulative/verbally harmful than anything else - he honestly seems in awe of Rey's fighting abilities/clearly wants her on his team) but the fact that she thought he /might/ hit her makes her realize how little she wants to do the parenthood thing with him, especially bc he could be so verbally degrading to her, and it reminds her of when she was a child in an abusive household.  
> This all comes up while she has a minor panic attack over Poe being so nice - she thinks he's trying to suggest she can't do things on her own, and she yells at him, and he de-escalates the conversation and she apologizes, and he does too for being mildly overbearing (but he's more motherhen!poe than controlling, at least I tried to write it that way). 
> 
>  
> 
> End note:  
> ** first, I read a hurtful [ficlet](http://melanoradrood.tumblr.com/post/173564448727/this-is-for-gloriouswhisperstyphoon-who-is-extra) by melanoradrood on their tumblr and clearly it leaked into my subconscious, so you can thank them for that dream sequence. (Ficlet = explicit, but we aren't sad about that, yisss?)
> 
> Month Six is next and there will be the Return of The Angst (and Ben Solo) but perhaps a sighting of one of the OT trio? Perhaps? ;)
> 
> Also, I wonder what Rey wanted to tell Poe...


	6. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe meets a childhood hero; Ben and Poe have a confrontation (physical) and Rey and Poe share an emotional moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is how we earn our Mature rating, at least in my own head. Poe and Ben have a physical fight, and Poe is choked, not to the point where he'd have lasting damage, but enough to hurt him. Ben threatens him/Rey, and Rey has a panic attack regarding her future. 
> 
> Full on protective!Poe

On a chilly November morning, in the middle of a sketch of a small round robot whose body design may or may not be based on his fat-ass dog (Bee had looked at him reproachfully when he turned the easel around for approval), Poe hears a strange thumping noise in the hallway outside his door. So, naturally he goes to investigate, setting his pencil down carefully and walking quickly to the door.

He looks out the peephole and frowns at the sight of a grey-haired man wearing a leather jacket not entirely unlike his own. Rey hadn’t mentioned ordering furniture, but here this guy is, with what looks like a hand-carved wooden frame of some sort.

There doesn’t seem to be any clear and present danger, but Rey’s personal safety has become a bit of a sore spot with him since her confession on the park bench a month ago, so Poe wrenches his door open and stares at this stranger.

“Can I help you?” He asks peevishly, wishing he didn’t have charcoal stains on his hand (and probably face), or a pencil behind his ear. Poe _has_ killed people before, but you wouldn’t be able to tell from his current state.

The man turns around, and Poe squeaks in recognition.

One of his childhood heroes, the major inspiration (besides Shara Bey) for Poe’s career as a pilot, famous hotshot flyboy and absolute legend _Han Fucking Solo_ is standing in his hallway.

“Uh,” Poe squeaks again. “Sir.” And then he remembers: this is Ben Solo’s father. Standing outside Rey’s apartment. This is his childhood hero (he and his wife, literally the Dream Team of his adolescence), but he suddenly couldn’t give a shit. “Why are you here?” he snaps, stars falling out of his eyes faster than the speed of light.

Han coughs and looks embarrassed. “I guess you know Rey.” Poe nods, frowning. “And from the look on your face, I guess you know my son knocked her up.” Poe glowers, even more powerfully, at the phrasing. Han’s eyebrows lift and he raises his weather-beaten hands. “My bad, kid.”

“What do you got there, Mr. Solo?” Poe purposefully does not use Han’s title, from his military service. No. This is not that kind of conversation.

The tall – but not quite as tall as his giant son – man rubs his neck and looks sheepish. He gestures to the frame behind him and says, “This is for Rey.”

“Did she ask for that?” Poe asks, not even asking what ‘this’ is.

“No,” Han Solo is blushing. Poe blinks, twice, trying to make sense of the image. Han Solo, legendary badass, is blushing in his hallway. “No uh – don’t worry, Ben doesn’t know she still lives here.”

Poe stare at him openly. “You know she’s hiding from Ben?” He asks.

“My kid’s a real piece of work,” Han shrugs. “Literally the last time I actually spoke to him was five months ago, when he told me he got a girl pregnant. Said he was going to marry her. Considering he hadn’t mentioned her before then, I sort of doubted that, and then Luke gave me a fuller picture, and I really doubted that.” Han shoves his hands in his pockets and scuffs his work boots on the floor. “Anyway, Ben texted my wife to say the girl had moved away a few months back, and that he was going to go and try and find her. We tried to tell him some people don’t wanna be found, and I figured he’d done something seriously fucked up to push her away, because, like I said, _piece of work,_ but Luke let slip that she was still here and working for him, a few weeks back.”

“So,” Poe pushes. “So you came to her home to deliver furniture?”

Han squints at him suddenly. “You related to Shara Bey?”

“Uh.” Poe startles. “Yes?”

“She was a great kid, great flier,” Han grins at him.

“How did you guess?” Poe asks curiously, his guard down for a second. He looks almost completely like his father – he’s slightly taller than his dad, which he gets from his mom, and they have the same eye shape, but that’s about it.

“Apparently, Rey won’t stop talking about you,” Han laughs, and it’s a nice laugh that makes his face look younger, more like the dashing, handsome pilot of his youth. “Luke mentioned that she had a new boyfriend, a real nice one, who brought her food at work sometimes and made sure she was doing well. She’s the one who mentioned your mom, and of course, we all knew her. Nice to finally meet you, kid.” He sticks his hand out, and Poe takes it, noting the warm, rough callouses and firm grip.

“Nice to meet you too, sir,” Poe says, reluctantly respectful again. “And I’m not Rey’s boyfriend, just her friend. But really though, what is that?” He points at the frame.

Han flushes. “Well, I figure she doesn’t want me or Leia around because we’d remind her too much of Ben.” Poe nods because that sounds fairly accurate. “But, that’s our grandkid, and it made my wife cry to think about her going at this alone. So, I’ve been working on this for a few weeks. It’s a convertible crib – it’ll turn into a bed when the kid’s old enough.”

“You made that yourself?” Poe asks, dumbfounded. ‘Skilled carpenter’ was not something he knew about Han Solo’s many talents.

“Yeah.” Han smiles at him, the lines around his eyes deepening. He looks worried, Poe realizes. “It’s a no pressure thing. We just … we don’t like the idea of our jackass of a son making her life so difficult. We want to help her, however she wants. But, we don’t know her. This is like an olive branch.” Han pats the frame, awkwardly. “Well. Multiple branches, I guess?”

Poe studies him for a long minute. “Do you want to put it in my apartment?” He asks. “Rey’s out for the day, and I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Han looks relieved, like he was a little worried Poe would throw him and his gesture of goodwill out on the curb.

“Here, give me your phone number,” Poe says, after they’ve moved the frame into his room. He hands his opened phone to Han. Han Solo types it in, looking wary. “I’ll text you later and let you know how she took this.”

“Thanks kid,” Han coughs once and then claps him on the shoulder. The fifteen year old that still thrives in Poe’s heart squeals, _Han Solo is touching meeeeeeee._ “Take good care of her, yeah?”

“She takes care of herself,” Poe smiles at him. “But I’ll do my best.”

Han Solo wanders out of the complex, and Poe stands in his doorway, still a little starstruck.

When Rey comes home, he nervously broaches the subject with her, but when she sees the crib, she bursts into tears.

“Why would he be so nice?” She asks, wiping her eyes. “They don’t even know me.”

“I think they want to, Sunshine,” Poe says softly. “And that’ll be your decision. I have his number when you’re ready. And if you’re never ready, well, I’ll delete that number.”

“Yeah right,” Rey grins at him, the tears forgotten momentarily. “I’ve gone through your shit from high school, Poe, you drew his picture, like, fifty times in your sketchbook back in ’98.”

“Did not!” Poe squawks. Then, he relents. “Alright, so maybe a few dozen times.” Rey laughs, so he counts it a victory.

And, two days later, she calls Han Solo on his phone, and he holds her hand while she tentatively makes plans to meet her children’s grandparents.

***

A few weeks after that, he drives Rey to her third trimester appointment. The babies are doing incredibly well, and Rey smiles the whole time. They get celebratory cheeseburgers afterwards, and when she eyes the rest of his, hopefully, he hands it to her without her having to ask (even though he may have been planning on finishing it. Whatever. Totally worth it for her smile).

They drive home and laugh about how Finn had fallen asleep at Thanksgiving last week. When they pull up to the complex, he hops out before she can unbuckle, and then runs to her side of the car, opening her door with a grin on his face. Poe helps Rey get out of the Jeep, and she takes his hand without rolling her eyes this time.

(She did roll her eyes when Poe had asked her, worriedly, if he should trade in that Jeep for something safer, something with less of a danger of rollover, so he could drive her to her appointments worry-free.)

When her feet are on the ground, Rey doesn’t release his hand. Instead, she stands for a moment, stroking her thumb across his knuckles gently. Poe wants to purr from how good that feels, how bad he wants to tug her closer by their joined hands, how much he wants to wrap his arms around her and never let go. Then, Rey exclaims, “Oh!” softly, and places their hands on her stomach.

“Lefty’s kicking,” she laughs lightly. She presses his palm flat to her abdomen, and Poe steps closer instinctively. There’s a definite flutter, and then a light, quick push against him.

“Oh,” Poe brings his other hand up to cradle the other side of her stomach. The babies have been kicking for a while, but he hasn’t had a chance to feel it. “Oh, holy shit, Rey, that’s, that’s –”

“Like something out of _Alien_?” Rey asks, laughing.

“Amazing,” Poe says, breathlessly. “That’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

“So are you,” Rey says, and Poe looks up at her in surprise. Rey’s smiling at him, a half-smile that’s no less powerful or genuine for its tentative nature. Poe swallows suddenly against the urge to tell her he loves her, while she stands in front of his Jeep wrapped up in his long winter coat (because hers was too small this morning when she left the apartment, and she’d almost cried at the thought of having to go buy another, so he’d just given her the one off his back, no questions asked).

Ah, fuck it, it’s almost Christmas, and he’s a fucking mess, and she’s looking at him with something in her eyes he’s fairly certain he’s translating correctly, and he’s going to tell her, now, that he loves her, so stupidly much and –

Of course Ben fucking Solo walks around the corner at that exact moment; he’s heading towards the entrance from the east, directly behind Rey, who hasn’t seen him yet.

“Go inside,” Poe says as calmly as possible. He brings his hands up to either side of Rey’s face.

“What?” Rey asks, pupils shrinking and nostrils flaring immediately. Great. His attempt at calm didn’t work.

“Go inside, sweetheart.” Poe hands her his keys because he still isn’t fucking sure if Ben didn’t do some shady shit like copy her key. “Go inside and lock yourself in my apartment and don’t come out until I tell you. Now.” He strokes a thumb over her cheekbone and smiles at her reassuringly. “Go.” Ben hasn’t seen them yet, so Poe releases Rey and walks directly at him.

Ben scowls at him, but then looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Rey!” Poe doesn’t turn around, but he can hear the door to the complex hiss open and then shut. Ben tries to shove past him, but Poe stands his ground.

“Nuh uh,” he says, holding his arms in front of Ben to block his path. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“You must be the new boyfriend,” Ben sneers.

“Nope,” Poe shrugs and moves to the side when Ben tries to get around him. “I’m not her boyfriend, and neither were you, so how ‘bout you just back the fuck off and leave, huh?”

“How touching,” Ben says. His face implies that he doesn’t actually find this that poignant. “I bet she sold you some sob story about why we didn’t work out, right?”

“Wrong,” Poe smiles at him, tightly. “And I don’t need to know anything about you two, other than the fact that she doesn’t want you around.”

“Get out of the way,” Ben says. “This is not your fight, and I’d hate for you to get hurt.”

“Are you threatening me?” Poe raises his eyebrows, and his hand itches to close into a fist and sock him in the jaw. “Because that’d be real stupid. I won’t be intimidated by you.”

“Really now?” Ben raises an eyebrow. “You’ve wasted enough of my time. Get out of my way, or I’ll move you out of my way.”

“You aren’t getting anywhere near her,” Poe snarls.

“For someone who isn’t a boyfriend, you’re awfully concerned with her well-being. You should know: she’ll never be yours,” Ben says, coldly. “Ever. And neither will that child.” _He still doesn’t know she’s having twins?_ Poe wonders before he remembers to be pissed. The anger steals along his spine, strengthening his resolve. Ben’s never even going to look at Rey again.

“That’s the difference between you and me, pal,” Poe snarls, getting right up in his face, even though it’s almost a foot higher than his. Why the fuck is this guy so tall? “I don’t think of the world in terms of _mine_ and _not mine._ I don’t care if Rey’s mine or not. I care about her. And I think you should come to terms with the fact that even if she isn’t mine, she certainly ain’t yours, not anymore. You made damn sure of that.”

Ben grabs Poe’s collar, and he’s vaguely horrified that his feet lift off the ground, but hell, he’s kicked people’s asses who were bigger than Ben Solo. He’s just a pathetic bully. “Stay away from my family,” Ben hisses, and his hand tightens uncomfortably around his neck, to the point that his air is slightly cut off. His other massive hand’s gripping Poe’s arm hard enough to bruise.

“It’s not your family, it’s her family,” Poe manages to slug him in the stomach, causing him to loosen his grip. Once his feet are back on the ground, he fists a handful of Ben’s shirt and yanks hard enough that the larger man actually stumbles a bit. “And if I so much as fucking see you within ten feet of her, I’ll call the cops. You’re an abusive piece of shit, you know that? Just like your grandfather.”

“Don’t you fucking talk about my –” Ben looks enraged, but it just makes adrenaline pump harder in Poe’s veins.

“Anakin Skywalker? The man who strangled his _pregnant_ wife?” Poe snaps, jabbing his finger in Ben’s chest. He doesn’t like to bring up the tragic circumstances of Padme Amidala, God rest her soul, but fuck if he doesn’t have a point. “I think a little too much of that guy is in you, asshole. And I’d think everyone would feel a lot better if you just got the fuck away from here.”

“Fine.” Ben straightens his coat and stands up to his full height. “I’ll leave, but don’t worry. She’ll be back, once she realizes how much easier her life is with me in it.”

“I don’t think easier is the adjective I’d go with, jackass.” Poe forces himself to breathe in through his nose, out through his mouth, counting backwards from ten. It sounds like, at least for today, Ben’s going to be walking away from this, and away from Rey. Poe wants nothing more than to grind Ben’s face into the sidewalk until he can never smirk again, but that would do absolutely nothing for Rey. This isn’t some competition for them to prove physically who cares more about her. He doesn’t need to compete with Ben Solo for shit.

“See you around, kid.” Ben shoves his hands in his pockets (a bizarre mirror image of Han Solo’s own awkward posture) and walks past Poe, slamming his arm into his shoulder on the way by.

“Dipshit,” Poe mutters, scowling after him. He shakes his head to clear it, and then walks up to the door, keying in the access code manually because Rey has his fob and keys.

He gets to his door and composes himself, smoothing his hair out and wincing at the burn on his arm. That’ll definitely be a bruise tomorrow, and he’ll be shocked if there won’t be a hand-shaped mark on his windpipe as well. Still, he’s fine, and more importantly, Rey’s fine, and Ben’s gone for the time-being.

Poe knocks, gently. “Sunshine?” he asks, wincing at the rasp in his voice. “You okay?”

The door opens, and Rey’s standing there, looking stricken, Bee in her arms. “Oh my God,” she exclaims, eyes widening. “What happened?” He walks in, and she sets the dog down. Bumblebee runs to his side and whines anxiously. Poe kneels down and scratches him for a second, trying to even his breathing before he responds.

“We had a disagreement,” Poe settles on that. He stands up straight and closes his door, locking the deadbolt too.

“Your throat,” Rey whispers, looking horrified. “Poe, did he--?”

“It’s fine,” Poe assures her, smiling at her. “It’s fine, I’m fine, really, Sunshine.” Rey’s bottom lip quivers, and she looks angry and scared and sad, and that’s not great.

“I’m not worth it,” she says, whole body trembling. “Holy shit, Poe, he could have killed you, and for what? Because I’m too chickenshit to talk to him?”

“Don’t say that,” Poe begs her. “God, Sunshine, that isn’t the least bit your fault. After that, I see why you’re afraid to talk to him. He shouldn’t be within a hundred feet of you or those babies.”

Rey cradles her stomach looking panicked. “Oh fuck,” she whispers. “Oh, God.”

Poe feels his eyes bug out, and the adrenaline’s still flowing. He’s going to be exhausted in an hour. “Is something wrong?” He asks, lurching forward to put his hands on her stomach, too. “God, Rey, are you in pain? Are the babies okay?"

She shakes her head, biting her lips together so hard they turn white “No,” she says, a crack in her voice. Poe looks into her face and sees undeniable grief building there. “No, not in pain.”

“What’s wrong, Rey?” He asks, still beyond concerned. Anxiety and panic are screaming in his ears, and he keeps examining her face for a sign, but all he sees is the build-up of sadness in her expression, tears welling in her eyes.

Without further warning, she erupts into tears. “Poe,” she sobs. “Oh, fuck – he’s - he's always going to be in their lives, isn't he?”

“No,” Poe shakes his head, vehemently. “No, sweetheart, we’ll – we’ll get a restraining order, we’ll – we’ll go to court, we’ll do something, he won’t be allowed near you.”

“That won’t happen,” she sniffs. “It’s hopeless. He never actually hit me, and he’s got such a good job, and a clean record, and they’ll take one look at him, and then at me, and they’ll see I’m a mess and – what if they take them away from me? My record’s sealed, but he’s a lawyer and he’ll figure out how to get around it, and all the stupid shit I did when I was trying not to starve will come out, and –” she’s reaching a point of hysteria, her breath growing more and more shallow, so Poe shushes her, rubbing his hands up and down her back while he guides her to the sofa.

“Bee, come,” he says to his dog, and the corgi jumps up on the couch next to her to lick at her hands worriedly. Rey pets Bee, her fingers twisting in his scruff, her face contorted in misery. “It’s going to be okay,” Poe promises her. It isn’t the first time he’s promised her that, but it certainly won’t be the last time, either. “We’re going to figure this out, and you’re going to be okay. I promise.” _I love you, and we’ll figure this out together, and he’ll never hurt you again._

Rey nods, miserably, and Poe sits next to her. She wastes absolutely no time in scooting as close as possible to him, and when she lifts her feet up, he helps her curl up under his arm. Eventually, they end up lying flat on the couch, Poe on his side and Rey on her back, managing to share the space despite her overly swollen belly. Poe strokes his hand through her hair, up and down her arms, murmuring promises he prays he can keep to her in Spanish and English, and Rey clenches her eyes shut, fighting back waves of tears until she falls asleep.

His mind whirs for an hour after she dozes off while he stares at the wall and tries to think of a way out of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is not meant to be a damsel in distress in anyway - canonically, she'd whoop Ben's ass and save Poe, definitely, but she's also ~6.5 months pregnant, and she definitely wants to keep those babies safe.


	7. Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey deal with the mess left by Ben Solo; Han and Poe have a conversation; ~Christmas~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this is 5000 words because I had no self controoOOOOOoOoOoOoOoL this afternoon, or ever)
> 
>  
> 
> Brief reference to Rey's childhood abuse and the injuries she suffered.
> 
> Also, disclaimer: Not a lawyer, so probably inaccurate depictions of the law

On December 16, Poe’s in Rey Kenobi’s bedroom – somehow, he was _invited_ into her bedroom. It’s been a week since the confrontation with Ben; they’re still trying to figure everything out, but Poe, with Rey’s permission, had taken photos of all the bruises, visited a hospital to get a record of the injuries, and filed a police report. She had asked to come along to the last two events, but Poe had insisted on going alone, not wanting to put more stress on her plate. Tomorrow, he’ll file for a restraining order, and Rey will too.

She’s smiling today, and the shadows under her eyes don’t look as extreme, so it’s a good day.

While he watches her putter around, he spots something of interest. “What’s that?” Poe asks, nodding at a large box under her desk.

Rey looks up from packing her baby-bag, the one she’ll bring to the hospital when she goes into labor. She’s only at 29 weeks, but the obstetrician had encouraged her to have a plan and be ready months in advance, so she's ready to go on the day of.

“Oh.” She smiles at him and goes back to fiddling with a pack of toiletries. “That’s a telescope. You can look at it if you want.”

Poe kneels to pull out the box, the images on the outside faded with time and sun exposure. It’s a small telescope, and the box has REY SMITH written in careful block letters.

“It was the first gift I ever got,” Rey says thoughtfully, walking up behind him to sit on the bed. She lets out a soft _uf_ as she parks herself and adjusts her sweater over her bump. “I moved in with Ben Kenobi about a month before Christmas, and I went from living in the city with Unkar,” her small nose wrinkles in obvious disgust, “to living out in the desert. There were so many stars, Poe, I’d never seen anything like it.”

Poe turns to smile at her and sits cross-legged on the ground, the box next to him, and stares up at her. Her entire face lights up while she tells him this story, a precious part of herself, and Poe doesn’t want to miss a second of it.

“So, one night, I got tired of looking out my window at them. And that was wild enough, that I had a whole window to myself, a room to myself, a bed to myself. I had so many things, that Ben had just given me without asking for anything in return, and I was still a little weirded out by it, how fast everything changed.”

Rey doesn’t mention it now, but Poe knows why she moved in with Ben Kenobi, as she’d told him last month; Child Services had finally caught wind of what was happening to her after she ended up in the hospital with a concussion and broken ribs, and poorly healed spiral fractures on her arms (Poe had literally broken the glass he was holding when she told him that, and thankfully she was too wrapped up in telling the story to notice). She was gone from Plutt’s immediately, placed in emergency housing, and Ben Kenobi had shown up like a white-haired angel a month or so later.

“I wanted a better look,” Rey continues. “So I got out of bed and snuck outside. I must have woken Ben up, because I was sitting out on his front step, staring up at the sky, and he came out with blankets and two cups of hot cocoa.  He put a blanket around my shoulders and after a few minutes, he asked me which group of stars was my favorite. I pointed because I was too embarrassed to say anything, and he said, ‘Good choice, that’s Eridanus.' He told me his favorite was Andromeda, because she reminded him of a friend he once had, someone very beautiful, and very sad, whose loved ones failed her, and who he had lost.” Poe frowns at the thought, something in his mind clicking together, based on Ben Kenobi’s well-known association with a certain powerful woman, but he doesn’t comment on it. “We spent the next few hours just talking about the different stars, and the way the earth moved underneath them. No adult had ever bothered to talk to me that long before, and he walked me back inside when the sun came up, and he let me sleep in until noon and skip school that day. Christmas was a month later, and when I came downstairs, I saw that box. He had special ordered the telescope just for me and included a bunch of star maps with it.”

Rey fidgets, and Poe can’t help but stare at her, still beyond grateful that she’d share this much with him. “I don’t think I would have been a scientist without Ben Kenobi,” Rey says thoughtfully. There’s a pause, a beat, and then she says something that has Poe fighting back tears. “I don’t think I’d be alive without Ben Kenobi.”

“It sounds like you really love him,” Poe says, voice shaky, purposefully keeping it in the present tense.

“Yeah. He was the first person I ever loved,” Rey smiles fondly, her hand stroking the crocheted blanket on her bed. “The only person I ever loved, really, until…” she fades off, suddenly pensive, her hand cupping her stomach.

“Until the babies,” Poe supplies for her. There’s a quiet pause, then.

“Yeah, Poe,” Rey looks at him and her smile is bittersweet. “…until the babies.” Poe smiles at her warmly, his heart about to crack in half with how much he loves her, and abstractly those babies, but Rey’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry,” she sniffs, wiping her nose. “God, I’m sorry. Hormones, you know. Excuse me.” She stands up carefully, her balance very much off these days, and walks out of the room.

Poe stares after her, worried at her sudden change in demeanor. She must be sad thinking of Ben Kenobi, he rationalizes, combined with being scared shitless about what’s going to happen when those kids are born, and what’s going to happen with Ben.  Poe sighs and taps his hand on the telescope. He slides it back into place, and stands up to finish packing some of the stuff laid out for the baby bag.

When Rey returns ten minutes later, she looks miserable still, and she doesn’t even perk up when he offers to order pizza. She falls asleep on the couch waiting for it to arrive, and he ends up leaving the box on the coffee table so she can eat when she wakes up; he pulls a blanket over her and leaves Rey’s apartment, making sure the door clicks shut and is locked before he returns to his own place.

His apartment has never felt so empty.

***

Strangely, Leia Organa shows up at the courthouse the next day to go in with Rey. She was a lawyer before and after her time in the government, so it makes sense. But, Rey pales when she sees her.

“I’m here for you, honey,” Leia said softly, holding her weathered hands out. Rey took them after a beat, and she squeezed Rey’s hands gently. “It’s going to be hard to get an order of protection, but I know the judge, and if Ben’s own mother doesn’t want him near the children, then that looks even better for you.”

Poe’s there too, of course, in support of Rey. The surveillance footage and his injuries, however minor, had easily gotten him the temporary order to cover the next fifteen days before the hearing. Between that, Poe’s shining military record and Purple Heart, and the pending assault charges against Ben, his judge had made the decision in less than five minutes, Open, shut.

Rey’s case is a little more complicated, and Poe sits nervously in the back of the room with Han while Leia squabbles too quick for him to follow along. She has hundreds of previous cases to cite, and Rey looks very much the innocent party that she is in her soft yellow sweater dress that highlights her obviously pregnant belly. In the end, she’s granted a temporary stay away order, with Ben denied contact or proximity to her even before the hearing, also in two weeks.

She stands up shakily, and accepts the hug Leia gives her, but Poe can tell she’s drained.

“You okay, Sunshine?” He asks softly, holding his arms out for her. Rey steps into them without hesitation, and she buries her face in his shoulder, shaking her head. “It’ll be okay,” he whispers. She’d had to give a brief statement about how Ben had treated her, harassed her repeatedly, and broken into her apartment (Poe remembers queasily the day he’d found out Rey was pregnant, when Ben had left a crib in her front room), and that clearly wiped her out.

She sniffs and Poe tightens his arms around her, grief and anger raging inside of him for her sake.

“We have a few more things to talk about, Rey,” Leia says, and Poe frowns at her, unable to control the expression even for the formidable ex-president who he’s had a crush on since he was ten.

“Can’t it wait?” He asks.

“No,” Rey lets him go, and Poe moves away from her when she shifts uncomfortably. Rey stands up straight and wipes her eyes. “No, let’s talk now. Get it out of the way.”

“You sure?” He asks her, studying her face. Rey bites her lip and nods, and Leia reaches out to grab her shoulder and squeeze.

“You did wonderfully, honey,” the older woman praises, and Rey smiles faintly at her. “Let’s go get milkshakes and talk about what a flaming garbage pile my son is.” Rey laughs and follows Leia out the doors of the courthouse. She turns around at the last second and waves forlornly at Poe, who waves back, feeling like half his heart just left the building.

A hand claps him on the shoulder, hard, and Poe startles, having forgotten Han Solo’s still standing there. “Let’s get a drink,” he says gruffly. “Know anywhere nearby?”

They end up at The Cantina, and Han buys the first round. They sit at a high top across from each other, and Han wastes no time in getting right to the awkward questions.

 “So, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. How long have you been in love with Rey?” Han looks at him appraisingly.

“What?” Poe’s sweating under the bar’s dim lights. _Is this a shovel talk?_

“No need to play coy, Dameron. I can tell.” Han smirks at him. “Trust me. I’ve seen this before.”

“Yeah?” Poe squints at him. _Is he talking about Ben?_ “You have?”

“Yep,” Han grins at him. “Actually, I’ve _been_ you, kid.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m talking pilot to pilot, here. Obviously, I’m a cocky son of a bitch, and I bet you are too, half the time.”

Poe shrugs and then nods, grinning sheepishly. He really is kind of an ass when he’s with his buddies from the service.

“So, let me run a scenario by you, and you can stop me if it doesn’t sound a thing like you.” Han takes a long drink of his beer, and Poe waits, patiently. “You think you know exactly who you are, exactly what you want out of life – and let me guess, good looking guy like you,” and the fifteen-year old Poe squeals _Han Solo thinks I’m good-looking?_ “I bet you had a different person in your bed every week. Bet you were a certain kind of asshole in the way that only really good pilots can be and still get away with. And then the war changed you, and then she – she changed you most of all. And now you love her so much you forgot who you are without her, who you were before her, and she scares the ever-loving shit out of you. You look at her, and you see the future, and it’s galaxies different than you thought it would be. And it scares you. And soon, she’s going to have kids, and she’s going to be a mother, and that’s going to make her even more incredible than she was before – and how could she even get any more incredible? Fuck. I know that look on your face, kid, because that’s been my face in the mirror, every day of my life since Leia Organa started terrorizing me over a bill I had just _thought_ about supporting. In the middle of a ball being thrown in my honor, no less.”

Poe snorts, and then squirms in his seat.  “You’re right,” he acknowledges. “I do love her.” He peels the label off his beer. “I love her, and I don’t know what to do with it. But, why are you telling me all this?”

Han grins at him and takes another long drink. “Because, kid, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing a lot of you as those kids grow up, so we might as well get to know each other.”

Poe remembers then, his stomach curdling; he remembers the thing that Rey had let slip last week, the thing that’s been weighing him down the second he wakes up every morning, for a week. “I doubt that, sir.” He taps his bottle on the bar and looks at Han with a tight smile. “She’s moving out. Told me a few days ago. So, she’ll have a new neighbor to bother her.”

Han looks at him incredulously and then leans across the table to smack him on the side of the head. “Um,” Poe says, blinking. “What the fuck, sir?”

“You aren’t just a neighbor,” Han leans in and scowls at him. “Fuck that. Look, I don’t know her very well yet, and I don’t really know you, but she doesn’t see you as her _neighbor,_ nitwit. After what you two have been through, you’ll never just be a neighbor. That’s not how this works.”

“You think so?” Poe asks, weakly. Han rolls his eyes.

“For that stupid fucking question, you’re buying the next round. And I want top shelf shit.” Han polishes off his beer and looks at Poe and then pointedly over at the bar.

***

Christmas is much more eventful than it was last year.

Rose and Finn show up on the 23rd to blast carols and bake cookies. Rey laughs the entire time, wearing a crown made of holly that Finn had placed regally on her head. Bee sits on her lap like a tiny, fat orange prince, and Poe takes a surreptitious photo of them on his phone. Finn catches him smiling at it later, and he gives him the biggest shit-eating grin Poe has ever seen. The Ticos head off after dinner to go visit Rose’s grandparents, the only family she has besides Finn, and they hand Poe and Rey presents before they leave.

Poe gives them their own presents – a new toolbox for Rose so she can tinker to her heart’s content, and a box set of _Naruto_ for Finn – and they hug him as they collect the wrapped boxes.

“I don’t have anything for you,” Rey squeaks, looking mortified, clutching her gift to her body. “I – I don’t really …”

“That’s fine!” Finn yelps. “Seriously, Peanut, don’t worry about us, we didn’t expect anything. We saw that and thought of you.” Rey looks particularly misty-eyed as she hugs them in thanks, and Finn rests a reverent hand on her stomach when he pulls away. “Merry Christmas, tiny mama!” He shouts as his wife pulls him out the door.

“God,” Poe laughs, locking up behind them. “I think he’s more excited than all of us about those babies.”

“Probably,” Rey grins. “Think I could give him one?”

“Come to think of it,” Poe stretches and then flops down on the couch to grin at her. “I do owe him my firstborn child.” Rey looks at him with a neutral expression, and Poe realizes the implication of what he just said, so he flounders trying to correct himself. “So, you know, if you could slide him a baby, maybe he’d let me off the hook.”

_Great job, asshole, now she thinks you consider those kids are part yours when you fucking don’t because they fucking aren’t._

“I’ll consider it,” Rey says. “Once I figure out which one I like better.” The air between them isn’t awkward, so Poe breathes a little easier.

***

Christmas Eve brings Leia and Han, the latter of whom bears a small tree.

They’d been over last weekend as well, with lasagna that Leia “had just happened to make extra of,” which Poe sort of doubts, considering it’s just her and Han at home, so _how exactly could one make an entire extra lasagna?_ Rey smiled eagerly all the same, and Poe had watched, mystified, later that same night when Rey sat in a pair of his old sweatpants (none of hers were ‘soft enough,’ apparently) and devoured the entire family-size dinner in less than half an hour while watching _Parks and Recreation._

Han puts the tree up in Rey’s living room, and Poe gets a whack upside the head when he tries to scurry over to brace the chair Rey’s standing on to place the star on top of her new tree.

“But why?” He asks Leia, rubbing his head. Han got a smack as well for trying the same thing.

“She’s pregnant, not helpless,” Leia scolds them, and Poe grimaces in acceptance. Rey chortles from her precarious position, and Poe stares at her in abject anxiety, ready to risk Leia Organa-Solo’s wrath one more time if he has to sprint to her side in the event of emergency.

Rey and Poe put tinsel on the tree after that, and Leia and Han enjoy a cup of coffee on Rey’s sofa. They give her a small pile of gifts – mostly baby-related, Rey ooo-ing enthusiastically with each cute new outfit revealed, but there’s a spa gift card as well for Rey (“And you can let us babysit, maybe, when you redeem that!” Han suggested hopefully), and she kisses them both on the cheek before settling down to smile at her collection of presents.

Rey cries then because she doesn't have a present for them, either, but Leia looks horrified. “You’re letting us be a part of your life, and our grandchildren’s life,” Leia reminds her. “There is no better gift, honey.” There's then a group hug that Poe had stood awkwardly on the outside of until Leia’s small but powerful arm reached out to drag him in.

They leave in the evening, and Poe walks over to his apartment shortly after that. Kes won’t arrive until the 26th, and he has to finish something before tomorrow, so he works to that deadline, Bee snoring at his feet.

***

On Christmas, around noon, Rey comes over for a marathon of shitty Christmas movies and early dinner. Poe makes five-cheese macaroni, and an entire Costco box of chicken nuggets (because that’s what Rey had asked for, even though he had offered a turkey, and a ham, and a number of fancier, holiday items), and Rey eats maybe eight pounds of food while crying into her plate over _How the Grinch Stole Christmas._

“He redeemed himself, Poe,” Rey weeps, wiping at her eyes. “Who doesn’t love a good redemption arc?”

“Arc?” Poe asks, raising his eyebrows in incredulity. “Rey, sweetheart, the guy caused thousands of dollars in property damage and stole candy from babies. A last second change of opinions doesn’t erase that.”

“Agree to disagree,” Rey sniffs, and Poe nods, grinning. She snuggles into his side, and he pulls a blanket over their laps before they start _Elf._

He falls asleep around Central Park, and he startles awake by the time it’s dark outside. Rey’s tucked into his side, reading something on her phone, her feet propped up on his coffee table.

“Sorry, Sunshine,” Poe stretches and grimaces. Rey sits upright, and he immediately misses her warmth. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“You drool,” Rey says matter-of-factly, not looking up from her phone.

_Oh Lord, in your infinite mercy, please smite me and spare me this embarrassment. Now would be good._

“Uh,” Poe coughs. “Can I give you your present now?”

Rey throws her phone across the room as she shouts, “Oh _hell_ yes! I actually got you a present, too!”

Poe laughs, and stands up, the blanket falling off his lap. “Okay, I’ll get mine, and you get yours?”

Rey races to the door (a bit more of an endearing waddle at this point in her pregnancy), and shouts, “I'm going to pee, and then I'll be right back!” before disappearing across the hall into her apartment. Poe laughs, feeling suddenly shy about what he wants to give her. He grabs it from inside his bedroom, carefully wrapped, and walks out to wait in the foyer.

A few minutes later, Rey bursts back into his apartment, pushing … a desk chair.

There’s a big, red bow on the top of it, and Poe smiles at her. He’s been sitting on a folding chair to draw, and she must have noticed.

“Thanks, Sunshine!” He says.

“You don’t even know what it is yet,” Rey accuses him, hand on her hip.

“Uh. It’s a chair?” Poe gives her a strange look.

“Yeah, and I designed it!” Rey beams at him and rolls it all the way over. “Sit! Sit, sit!” Poe obliges, and it – it’s a really fucking comfortable chair. He sits back, groaning a little and smiles at her.

“It's a nice chair,” he compliments, and she rolls her eyes.

“Just let me talk!” She says, flapping her hands, and Poe pretends to zip his mouth shut. “So, like, I design planes and shit, right?” Poe nods. “One of the other engineers at work specializes in the way force and flight in general affects the body, so she helped me with that aspect. And Luke let me use the lab to build it, because usually my projects cost millions of dollars, and this cost less than a thousand, so he was cool with it. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. I wanted to design a chair that would support your back, you know, because of your injury? I know you don’t draw on days your back hurts, so I figured, maybe if you had a better designed chair, built to the specifications and location of your injury, you’d be able to work more, or at least be more comfortable on the days you do work!”

Poe blinks at her, stupefied. She’d noticed when he didn’t work? He’d told her about his back problems, sure, and she’s walked Bee for him on particularly bad days, but –

He’s crying, he realizes, mortified. Poe’s fought terrorists, and watched his friends die, and has beaten certain death, and he’s crying over office furniture in front of the one girl he desperately wants to impress.

“You hate it,” Rey looks stricken.

“No,” Poe shakes his head and stands up. “No, I love – it. I really love it, Sunshine.” He had caught himself so quickly, he doubts she heard the pause, the near-confession. Poe wipes his eyes, sniffing pathetically. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever given me. Thank you.” He hugs her, and Rey hums happily, squirming in excitement.

“I did good?” She asks shyly, clearly unsure of herself.

“You did very good,” Poe confirms. Then he clears his throat and reaches behind him to where her gift waits on the front table. “This doesn’t seem as cool, now.”

Rey rolls her eyes and holds her hands out, making a grabby motion. Poe sets the small, wrapped package in her palms, and Rey weighs it carefully. “Guess it’s not a bowling ball,” she teases. “Oh wait, I already got one of those.” She pats her belly affectionately, and Poe laughs.

She carefully rips the paper off, carefully, and Poe wonders if he should offer to let her sit down. Her feet are swollen and sore, always, now, but she looks excited and unbothered in front of the door, and he doesn’t want to push her.

The paper falls away, and Rey stares down at the book in her hands.

The cover is an illustration of a young, beautiful woman in profile, staring up at the stars, brown hair in three, tight buns, and the title reads, “The Brightest Star.”

Rey clears her throat and opens the book. “Should I read it out loud?” she asks softly.

“Only if you want to,” Poe answers, shrugging. He goes to stand shoulder to shoulder with her.

“Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away,” she begins.

 _There was a strong young woman who lived by herself._ On that page is a drawing of the heroine sitting, one knee bent and the other leg dangling off the side of a peculiar structure that looks like a metal elephant.

Rey’s long, elegant fingers run over the drawing wonderingly before she continues reading.

 _She was a special person, who knew all the stars by name, and she had a powerful secret._ Poe knows all the words by heart, but it sounds so much better in Rey’s voice, so he stares at the page enraptured.

 _The young woman did not know it yet, but inside of her was a spark, a spark that was about to catch fire._ The young woman’s standing fiercely now, a staff gripped in her hands. She wears a tan tunic and brown leggings, and her stance demonstrates her strength and unflappable nature.

_She was the guardian of that spark, the brightest star in the universe come to rest inside of her, and the whole galaxy admired her for her strength and beauty._

_One day, she met a small robot who fell in love with her automatically._ A orange and white robot – the design of which Poe’s been agonizing over since November – appears on that page, its round body and head peering up at the young woman excitedly.

_It abandoned its master and swore to follow her until the edge of the galaxy, because sometimes, even guardians need protecting._

_There were evil men who wanted to hurt her, but the young woman was too strong to fall. She guarded the spark, and gained many friends._ The heroine stands on a dune in the desert, but three faces dance around her head like a halo, all smiling down at her.

By this point in the book, it’s undeniable, the roundness of the heroine’s stomach. She looks no less fierce, though – Poe had been careful with that detail.

 _Wherever the young woman went, she brought hope and joy._ Here, she walks across the desert, staff slung on her back, and a sword of light in her hand. In her wake, she kicks up not sand, but green and living things, flowers and trees sprouting behind her.

_She had created a legacy for herself, and in doing so, created a legacy for you._

On this page, the heroine is joined by two smaller versions of herself, gender indeterminate, brown hair cut to the chin on both children, pert noses, and matching grins. The whole family holds swords of light, and the heroine is clearly demonstrating how best to use them, the children mimicking her powerful stance.

_She had been on many adventures, but she was about to discover the best one. And the galaxy continues to look to her for guidance._

Rey reaches the last sentence and closes the book, reverently, after whispering the line again, quietly, her hand stroking across the page.

The silence of his foyer is echoing now that she’s done, and Poe waits for her reaction, biting his lip nervously.

“Poe,” Rey says, turning her massive eyes to his face. Poe returns the look, perpetually trapped from her inescapable hold on his heart. “Poe, this is…”

“Too much?” he asks, weakly. 

“Perfect.” She turns the book over to examine the cover again. “It's perfect. But, Poe … she’s so beautiful.” Rey shakes her head. “It’s all perfect, and thank you – _thank you,_ I don’t know if I can thank you enough, but why did you make her so beautiful?” Her hand rests on the miniature portrait of herself.

“Because,” Poe shrugs. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, Rey.”

She stares at him, something like shock on her face, and Poe fights the urge to rub his neck or bite his nails.

“Merry Christmas, Rey,” he says to break the silence.

“Merry Christmas, Poe,” Rey answers, her hazel eyes serious, but also serene and so impossibly beautiful. Poe wishes intensely that he’d thought to buy mistletoe, so he’d have the slightest excuse to lean in and kiss her cheek. “I think this is a top five best Christmas.”

“Same here,” Poe smiles bashfully, feeling his cheeks heat up. _God, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say._ He lands on: “Fuck, Sunshine. I’m going to miss you.”

“What?” Rey looks at him, confused, and it seems like she pulls away a little bit ( _when did we get so close?_ ).

“You know,” Poe rubs the back of his neck now, tugging at his overlong curls. “When you move. I’m really going to miss you.”

“Oh,” Rey’s face is unreadable. “Yeah – same…same here.” She smiles, but it looks forced this time. “Thanks again, Poe.” She hugs him quickly, and Poe tries his hardest not to kiss her hair or her head when she’s this close to him, and he prays for strength to St. Jude himself.

Rey gives him one last long, indecipherable look, hugging her book to her chest, and then she’s out the door. Rey strides into her apartment, and the door closes behind her quickly, and Poe’s left, feeling oddly wrong-footed, in the doorway of an apartment that feels a lot less like home when she isn’t in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under rock*
> 
>  
> 
> PS if you wanna know the depths of how much of a human dumpster fire I am, go ahead and look up Eridanus and its meaning in Ancient Greek (nervous laughter)


	8. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts Poe in the early hours of December 26. 
> 
> They reach a pretty agreeable conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place directly after Chapter 7 (So if you hated me, hopefully this makes up for it).
> 
> Warnings: Poe references violent acts he had to commit while serving (non-graphic) and his current struggles with mental health (PTSD/panic attacks).
> 
> Other warnings: Maybe some light smut, y'all. Read the end notes if there's some things that could be a 'no thanks' for you

There’s a banging on his door, about an hour after midnight, and Poe sits bolt upright, gasping for breath.

It’s too early, way too early, for Kes to be here – his flight lands at noon, for God’s sake, and his immediate thought is that Ben Solo came here to kill him.

Then, he shakes his head and goes to the door, Bee at his heels. He looks out the peephole, and sees a very angry Rey Kenobi on the other side. Still blinking awake, not entirely convinced he’s awake, Poe opens the door, and his neighbor storms inside.

“Rey?” He asks groggily, closing the door behind her. She stands facing, obviously fuming, his living room; seeing no other option besides going back to bed, Poe walks over to her.

“I figured out what’s wrong with this.” She holds his book up, the book he’d made for her painstakingly.

“Uh?” he says eloquently.

“The pilot,” she flips to the page where the heroine’s friends circle around her like a halo. “He’s only on one page.”

“Yeah,” Poe nods, “Yeah, the page with her friends.”

Rey snaps the book shut, looking triumphant. “That’s exactly my point, Dameron. It’s wrong.”

“It is?” Poe stares at her, still half-awake and barely functional. _So we aren’t friends?_

“Yeah,” Rey nods, viciously, walking up until she’s right in front of him. It’s then that he notices that she’s wearing the pair of sweatpants she’d “borrowed” a month ago, and one of his sweaters that had gone missing. Guess he knows where it went, now. “Yeah, Poe. The pilot should be on more than one page.”

She opens the book back up, and jabs her finger at the page that immediately follows the friend page. “He should be here,” she flips the page. “And here, and here,” she keeps going through the book, until she lands on the last page. “He should be right fucking here, because the heroine can’t do this without him, not because she _can’t,_ but because she doesn’t want to, and she’s definitely fucking sure he feels the same way.”

“Wha-?” Poe’s brain is still coming back online, so all he can do is stare at her.

“The pilot needs to be part of the ending,” Rey insists. “And he shouldn’t say stupid shit about missing the girl, because she isn’t leaving him, she’s just trying to get more space for her kids; the last thing she wants is to get away from him.”

“Oh.” Poe understands, now. This definitely is not some weird dream. “ _Oh._ ”

“Yeah, oh,” Rey grumbles. “Honestly, Dameron, I’ve been sitting in my apartment, eating whipped cream out of the tub –“

“Is that where my Cool Whip went?” Poe asks. He quells immediately under Rey’s glare. “Not the point, sorry, sorry.”

“Thank you,” Rey says pointedly. “ _Anyway._ I was in my apartment, eating _my_ Cool Whip out of the container, waiting for you to come over and tell me that you didn’t mean it, that of course you didn’t want me to leave. And I had this whole speech planned out, about how I wasn’t leaving you, how I could never leave _you,_ not when you’ve become such an important part of my life, and how I’m probably only moving a mile or two away, you big baby, and then it hit me.”

“Gas?” Poe asks, unable to help himself. Rey pokes him in the arm, not hard enough to actually hurt, and he grins apologetically.

“No, Poe!” Rey doesn’t look angry despite his interruptions and lack of helpfulness. “I figured out what to do. So I broke into the common room downstairs—"

“That doesn’t sound legal—"

“And I borrowed this.” Rey walks a little closer and holds something over their heads. “Now you can’t think of an excuse or a reason _not_ to kiss me.”

Poe looks up and sees a sprig of mistletoe in Rey’s hand. “Oh,” he says softly, heart pounding in his ears. “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, shit,” Rey laughs. “C’mere, Commander.” She tugs him forward by the front of his sweatshirt, until he’s as close to her as he can get, and she slides her fingers up through the back of his hair, where his curls are longer than they’ve been since he was 17. Rey Kenobi pulls him down gently, and he goes willingly, his head tilting automatically, his hands coming to rest on her jaw. While they lean in, his brain erupts into full-speed shock and denial.

_Oh God, I died in my sleep, didn’t I? This isn’t real, this is another sick dream, this can’t be real, you don’t deserve this, this isn’t –_

Rey kisses him, sweetly, gently, and Poe kisses her back. She tastes like stolen Cool Whip and mint toothpaste and sunshine – he kisses Rey back, before he remembers.

“Rey,” he says, softly, pulling away from her lips but not from her. “Rey, we shouldn’t do this.”

“Why not?” She asks, and she leans back fully to look at him, her hazel eyes wide with all the trust he doesn’t think he’s earned.

“Because,” he mutters. “Because, you’re pregnant, and –”

“And I’m obviously crazy with baby brain?” Rey scoffs. “That’s not very evolved of you, Dameron.”

“No,” Poe shakes his head, miserably. “No, that’s not it, you’re…you’re vulnerable, right now, and I don’t want to take advantage of that.”

“You aren’t taking advantage of anything,” Rey insists. “Poe, I want this, and I’d want this even if I wasn’t pregnant with Satan’s twins.” She looks down at her swollen belly, and grimaces. “Sorry, babies, you aren’t Satan, Ben is.”

“They know,” Poe laughs, resting a hand on her abdomen. “They know, Sunshine.” Rey places her hand over his, firmly, and they spend a moment just smiling at where their hands are joined.

“And that’s why,” Rey says. “That’s why I want you, Poe. I’d want you no matter what, because you’re kind and reliable, and so, so good. Don’t tell me I don’t want this because I don’t know my own mind. I do. I really do. So, please, kiss me.”

And Poe does, because he’s an idiot, and for all he knows, she’ll change her mind, like she changes her mind about pickles and peanut butter, or the color of her dream nursery, but he’s a selfish, greedy man, and if this is the way he gets to kiss Rey Kenobi, then he’ll take it, and he’ll write a personal thank you card to his karmic torturer, no questions asked.

“Poe,” Rey whispers after they break apart again. “Why are you crying?” Her small hand wipes a tear that he hadn’t realized had formed and slipped out of his eyes while he’d been kissing her.

“Nothing,” Poe mutters, self-consciously. “I just…I’m in love with you, and I have a feeling this is going to hurt.”

“What?” Rey steps back, shocked. “What did you just say?”

“I don’t think you’re going to hurt me,” Poe amends, hand in the air. “No, I don’t, I just—”

“No, not that, I already know you’re being stupid about that,” Rey waves her hand impatiently. “You’re in love with me?”

“Uh,” Poe laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, I thought that was pretty obvious.”

“Oh.” Rey’s cheeks are flushed, and Poe feels terrible.

“Shit, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid,” Poe mutters. They’d just kissed and he’s already ruining it. “God, sweetheart, I don’t want to pressure you, that’s the last thing I want.”

“No, I just,” Rey blinks, a tear escaping her eye, and Poe reaches out subconsciously to wipe it away, his fingers curling around her jaw, thumb brushing the tear. Rey grabs his wrist to hold it in place when she says, “God, this is so fucked up. This all could have been so different – I had a huge crush on you when I moved in, and I figured you wouldn’t look at me in a million years, and then everything with Ben happened, and…”

She stops, mid-ramble, and Poe can feel the heat of her blush. “You—all this time?” Poe asks weakly. “Me?”

Not the most eloquent, but it gets her to laugh.          

“Do you want the story, or do you want to keep making out?”

 _Making out! We want to make out!_ Every part of Poe’s body agrees with his heart’s assessment, but he listens to his rational side, and says, “Tell me the story, Sunshine. Do you want anything?”

“Water, thanks.” She smiles at him, and settles herself carefully on the couch, cradling her massive stomach. Bee’s awake by now and he comes to happily investigate Rey’s presence. He gets on the cushion next to her, circles once, twice, and then curls up beside her and promptly falls asleep again. Poe smiles at him, and then he waits at the faucet until the water’s cool, and fills up a glass.

Poe brings her back the water. “No ice, right?” He asks, smiling. Rey nods and takes it, fiddling with the glass before he even sits down.

“So,” he says.

“So.” Rey smiles at him. “The story. The story of how all of this went to shit, and the story of how, apparently, I could have just … not freaked out, and we’d be somewhere very different right now, and all of this wouldn’t have fallen apart, and –”

“Hey,” Poe says softly, reaching out and resting his hand on her forearm. “Sunshine, you gotta – I know this wasn’t ideal, and I know it’s changed your life and not always in a good way, but I’d love you no matter what, I’m pretty sure. And as for where we are – there’s no place in the galaxy I’d rather be.”

Rey looks up at him, and her smile is bittersweet again. She holds her hand out, and Poe takes it without question, watching her take a deep breath to steel herself, one hand in his and the other on her stomach.

“When I moved in, back at the end of January, almost a year ago now,” she begins. “You were the only person who offered to help me. And, as you know, I responded like an ass.”

“I thought it was funny,” Poe says. “Mildly terrifying that you could lift that much over your head, but definitely cute, too.”

“Yeah, well, I felt terrible that I was so rude to you, and then you were so nice to me whenever we passed each other in the hall.”

Poe remembers the months of February to April, when the highlight of his dark day was always the bright spot of Sunshine he’d get when his mysterious neighbor walked by and graced him with a smile. “You were the highlight of my day,” he admits sheepishly. “I had a massive thing for you, Finn and Rose were always teasing me about ‘the cute girl across the hall’.”

“Fuck,” Rey groans, and she buries her face in her free hand. “That makes this so much worse, because yeah, I had a massive crush on you, too.” She shakes her head, and Poe does too, ruefully but smiling because no matter what happened, they ended up here together, and isn’t that what counts? _You could have almost a full year with her by now, dumbass._ Poe fights down his grumpier inner voice and listens to Rey instead.

“We talked more after April, and I got my hopes up, stupidly. And I was like, ‘Rey when you were twelve, you faced down a man three times your size because he was picking on a smaller child,’ and reminded myself I could do anything.” Poe tries not to visibly flinch when she casually references the event that landed her in the hospital, near death. “So, I finally got up the nerve to go ask you on a date,” Rey stares at her hands now, but Poe can’t stop staring at her face. “But when I knocked on the door, a girl wearing nothing but a man’s shirt opened the door.”

“What?” Poe’s flabbergasted. He hasn’t had sex since his injury, hasn’t really even been on a date. He’s been too hung up on the girl from 1C.

“I know now,” Rey laughs, bitterly. “It was Rose. The day she came to my apartment to get rid of Ben, I recognized her.”

“What was she –” Poe figures it out. “Oh, fuck was it Memorial—"

“Day weekend,” Rey finishes. “Yeah.”

“She and Finn were dog-sitting,” Poe explains, weakly. _And apparently having sex on my furniture._

“I didn’t know that then, so, I figured you had a girlfriend, and I went to a bar and met up with a guy who’d been pestering me for a while, and –” Rey gestures at her stomach helplessly. “Bad decision train, all aboard.”

Poe stands up because he doesn’t know what else to do. He paces the living room and drags his hands through his hair. “All this time,” he says weakly. “All this – Sunshine, we could have – oh, fuck, it’s all my—”

“Do not say me choosing to have ill-advised self-pity sex with Ben Solo is your fault,” Rey says mildly. “Or, pregnancy be damned, I will kick your ass.” He smiles at her sheepishly and parks himself on the ground in front of her, leaning against the couch at her feet. “So, now you know how all this happened. And you know enough about me to know that I’m a mess, while you have everything together, and you’re perfect, and—”

“I’m not perfect.” Rey looks at him incredulously, but weaves her small fingers through his curls. Poe leans into the touch like a cat, but shakes his head all the same. She needs to know. “I’m not perfect at all, Sunshine.”

“Yes you are,” Rey grins at him. “You have your life together, and you’re always so kind to me, and you know what you’re doing, all the time.”

“That’s just an illusion.” Poe smiles sorrowfully. “And I’m sorry, Rey, I’m sorry that you’ve told me so much about yourself the last six months, and I’ve been too chickenshit to tell you anything of depth about myself. I just – I didn’t want to scare you away.” He closes his eyes and hums when her fingers begin to scratch against his scalp.

“You could always tell me now,” she suggests quietly. “If you wanted to.”

“Yeah,” Poe nods and opens his eyes. The only light in the apartment right now, an old lamp, glows next to Rey, so she’s the only thing he can see. Fitting. “You want to hear it right now, or after we get some sleep?”

“Now,” Rey says. “And then maybe more making out?”

“If you still want to,” Poe laughs regretfully, but starts all the same when Rey fixes him with a Look. “Okay, okay. You know I’m injured, but you don’t know that I have panic attacks, daily. You don’t know that sometimes I’ll hear a certain phrase, something that only sort of resembles something my co-pilot said a minute or two before we went down, and I shut down for hours. You don’t know that I have nightmares – they used to be every night, but now they’re farther apart – and you don’t know that I have literally wet the bed as an adult.” Poe pauses, panting, and he has a feeling his therapist is sitting up in their own bed right now, across town, feeling his self-hatred and making a note to yell at him about it on Tuesday.

“With these two wonders tap-dancing on my bladder, I’ve peed while asleep recently, too,” Rey says encouragingly, and Poe rolls his eyes but grabs the hand not tangled in his hair to kiss it, gently.

“Thanks, Sunshine,” He laughs raggedly. “You know how awful Ben was that day, when he choked me?”

Rey nods, sadness falling over her face like a shadow.

“Well, the fucked up thing was, I wasn’t that afraid that he’d kill me, per se. I was terrified that he’d get through me and hurt you, somehow, but…I knew that if it came down to it, I could kill him.” Rey doesn’t say anything, just steadily looks into his face, and Poe rips open the last few shameful parts of himself for her, as much as he can tonight. “I knew that I could kill him, and that I would, if it meant keeping you safe. I’ve killed people before, and not just from behind a plane, sweetheart. I had to kill people when the plane went down, and a couple of other times when missions went south, and I … I don’t regret doing it, all the time. I have an ability to kill people with nothing but a knife or my hands, and the training is all still there, and sometimes I feel like all my hands are good for is violence, so now you know, and you know that I don’t deserve to touch you, and fuck,” Poe trails off, waiting for Rey to stand up and leave his apartment.

“That’s not true,” Rey says simply. She tugs on his shoulder, and Poe stands slightly, enough that he can slide on the couch next to her. She holds her arms out, and Poe tucks himself into her shoulder, resting his head on her collarbone, and pulling his legs up so his feet rest on the nearby coffee table: it’s  a reversal of their usual position. “That just isn’t true, Poe. Your hands are good for so many other things.” She grabs one of his hands, one of his scarred, calloused hands, and she brings it up to her lips to kiss, gently. “I love your hands,” and it’s not quite the phrase he’d hope for, but God, he’ll take it. “They made this book, and they play with Bee, and they hold doors open for me, and they’re always gentle with me, in a way that very few hands in my life have been gentle. So don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“I’m a dangerous person,” Poe whispers.

“I think you’ll find that most people can be dangerous,” Rey comments. “But Poe, I’ve never felt anything but safe with you.”

It’s easier than breathing to pull away from their current embrace so he can lean back in and kiss her senseless. Poe can’t think of a reason not to cup her chin in one hand, wrap her hair around his other, and pull her in for a kiss that he refuses to break for almost ten seconds. He kisses her with more passion than he thought possible at 2 a.m., but Rey’s always showing him that he was wrong about what’s supposed to be ‘possible.’

They stand up together after making out awkwardly, sideways, on the couch, and they get to his bed. Rey looks a little sleepy, and Poe feels a little sleepy, and they figure out the best way for Rey to fall asleep, with pillows cushioning her, elevating what needs to elevated – Bee wanders in at one point, sees their struggle, and leaves in a huff – and eventually they tangle up together in a way that will let them both sleep.

“I love you,” Poe whispers once her breathing has evened out. He closes his eyes for a second, but cracks one open again – he’s afraid that if he falls asleep, he’ll find out this actually was a dream.

Despite his best efforts, he falls asleep, and when his eyes crack open around 08:00 (later than he’s slept in for years), Rey’s blissfully still there, still asleep, her chestnut hair spread across one of his pillows, her hand near her mouth, one arm curled protectively around her stomach. Poe sits in wonder and stares at her in the  morning light, thunderstruck that this is real, that he gets to have this, that Rey Kenobi, legendary Cute Girl of 1C wants him, too.

Rey wakes up to find him staring at her, and she only gives him grief about it for thirty seconds before she reaches out sleepily and fists her hand in his sweatshirt, pulling him across the bedspread so she can kiss him. They both have morning breath, but Poe doesn’t care. It just makes this impossible dream seem that much more real. He loves her, he loves her so fucking much, so he asks to show her.

She blushes when he does, but she nods, biting her lip, and he trails his fingers down her neck, along her body, and to the end of the sweater that she stole from him. “On or off,” he whispers.

“On,” Rey says. “The first time, just – on, please.”

“We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with,” Poe swears.

Rey reaches down herself to pull the sweatpants down, kicking out of them awkwardly. Poe kisses her the second she’s lying back down, and when she gives a nervous nod, he slips his hand between her legs and strokes her lovingly, spreading the eventual evidence of her building pleasure, and cataloguing the gasps she makes. At one point, with two fingers inside of her, Rey squeaks and grabs at his wrist.

“There,” she nods, fervently. “That’s – there, please.”

“Yes ma’am,” Poe drawls, drunk on the knowledge that he’s making her feel good. He leans down to kiss her some more, slipping his fingers into her with a lot more care and control than he normally demonstrates with partners – he’s historically been an overly-passionate lover, complete with biting and hair-pulling and dirty talk – but it just feels so, so different with Rey.

Instead of spewing statements about how he’s going to fuck her so hard she can taste it, he whispers, “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” into her open mouth, and he murmurs, “you feel like Heaven, so good for me,” into her neck, and, seconds before she cums, he brushes his nose against her hair, adds another finger, presses his thumb against her clit and says, “I love you more than anything else.” She crests after that, her legs kicking out and seeking purchase on the bed desperately, and Poe laughs lightly, marveling at the way she feels around his fingers, unbearably hard himself just from the feel of her, the intimacy she just allowed him, how perfect she is, how pretty she is when she cums.

Rey smiles at him sleepily, and she gasps, again, when he licks his fingers clean. Poe winks at her and hums low in his throat. “Fuck, you taste good.” Rey whimpers and her hand brushes against his stomach.

“Your turn?” she asks, eyes drooping slightly.

“I can wait,” Poe laughs. He pulls a blanket up and over her again, and pets her side over the covers. “I can wait, Sunshine.” She falls asleep less than a minute later, and Poe admires the way she looks tucked into his bed before he gets up to walk Bee, setting a glass of water and a note explaining where he went next to the bed in case she wakes up before he gets back.

Rey doesn’t wake up before he gets back, but she has started snoring. Poe leans in his bedroom door, feeling overly fond and lovestruck while he listens to the world’s most beautiful, perfect, delicately wonderfully person saw logs in his bed, her hand curved around her stomach even in sleep.

Yeah. Poe can wait. He’s already waited thirty four years – the last of which being the most agonizing - for this. He can wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning from above/spoilery: with Rey's consent, Poe fingers her to orgasm. Vague language wherever possible, 'clit' is the only body part directly named, much more about sensation than graphic depictions of sex. It's very brief, and you can skip after "he asks to show her" until the phrase '"I can wait"
> 
>  
> 
> All that aside: Do these two cuties deserve an epilogue where they /do/ get some full-on adult sexytimes? They will not be having vaginal sex before Rey gives birth. I thought about it and at 31 weeks with twins (she'll be at 34 weeks in the next chapter) I can't imagine she'd have the best time - I just don't want poor Rey to be uncomfortable her first time with Poe.
> 
> And yeah, Chapter 9 is called "Birth," so. Let's buckle in for some FEELS
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, I hope you forgive me.


	9. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke visits and brings some news; Rey goes into labor
> 
>  
> 
> ~Babies!~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and I am not a mom, so I just did a lot of research and probably screwed up Facebook's algorithm for ads for me for the next nine months (seriously, now I'm getting a lot of targeted ads for midwives in my area), and I tried to keep things as realistic as possible without going into the graphic details of childbirth!
> 
> So yes, definitely unrealistic, it would CERTAINLY be more intense, God, mothers are hardcore, go mothers, mothers everywhere, childbirth sounds so scary, y'all are amazing <3 happy almost mother's day?

Luke Skywalker shows up at Poe’s front door three weeks after New Year’s.

“Ben Solo’s in jail,” he says mildly in lieu of a greeting.

“Uh.” Poe blinks at the man whose sacrifice had basically saved the entirety of Western civilization, and he holds out his hand. “Hi,” he mutters. “I’m Poe Dameron.”

“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant Commander.” Luke smiles at him and holds out his (very cool, Poe tries not to comment on _just how cool it is_ ) bionic hand, and they shake.

“You know who I am?” Poe asks weakly.

“My apprentice talks about you all the time,” Luke laughs softly. “Sorry, may I come in?” Poe nods and stands out of the way so Luke can walk into his apartment.

( _Luke Bail Skywalker is in his apartment, oh God what even is this year_ ).

“Rey talks about me?” Poe asks, dumbfounded. He’d known that Rey had mentioned him to Luke, as that’s how Han knew about him, but the fact that Luke had known the detail of his former rank startles him slightly.

“I knew about you before her, kid,” Luke smiles at him warmly, hands behind his back. “Hard not to hear about the best pilot in the Navy. Han was a little uptight about you beating his training record, so naturally I took an interest in your career.”

Poe blushes, furiously and mutters something about that being nothing.

Luke waves his hand. “Anyway, Rey talks about you non-stop sometimes, which is shocking to me, as we’ve worked together for three years, her adopted father was my other best friend, and I knew maybe ten details about her personal life before she started talking about you. She likes you, Dameron, I’ll give you that.”

“Uh,” Poe’s blushing harder now. He might just catch on fire, honestly, at this point.

“Eloquent, too,” Luke snorts. “Do you want anything?”

 _That’s my kitchen,_ Poe thinks, confused, as Luke starts puttering around with the teapot. He finds Poe’s stash of Chamomile very quickly – he only opens the one cabinet drawer and finds the tea automatically, what the hell kind of wizard is this guy – and begins boiling water before Poe can formulate an appropriate response.

“I’ll just go ahead and make you a cup too,” Luke turns and smiles at Poe over his shoulder before going to the correct cabinet, again, for two mugs.

“Thanks?” Poe says.

“You’re welcome!” Luke looks completely at ease ransacking Poe’s kitchen, and that weirdly makes this all feel less…weird.

They settle at the counter with their cups, and Bee settles cheerfully at Luke’s feet, wagging his tail earnestly.

“You and Rey,” Poe shakes his head wonderingly. “He only behaves for you and Rey.”

“Smart dog,” Luke says, pulling a dog biscuit out of fucking nowhere, right out of the pocket of his beat-up brown coat, and throwing it down to Bee. The corgi snaps it up happily and wags his tail harder. “So. Ben Solo. In jail.”

“May I ask why?” Poe asks, queasily.

“Hit someone while driving drunk,” Luke looks unhappy at that. He strokes his beard thoughtfully. “I’ve been telling Han and Leia for years now that he had a problem, but they didn’t want to push him away more than they already had. He was a troubled kid, real bad temper, got into some sticky situations, but he usually listened to me. After he started working at his firm, though, he shut me out.” Luke sighs heavily. “And then all this happened, and Leia has been distraught – they’re figuring things out now, so I thought I’d be the one to come break the news.”

“Well, shit,” Poe says.

“Yeah, shit.”

They sit in silence, and Luke takes a sip of tea. “Is the person okay?” Poe asks, stomach clenching.

“No,” Luke shakes his head. “No, he hit a kid. They’re not going to be okay. We’ve kept it out of the news – it happened two days ago – but it’s only a matter of time.”

“Do you want me to be the one to tell Rey?” Poe asks, shoulders tightening. He honestly has no idea how she’d react to this.

“I can tell her, but I figured she’d want you to be there when I did, for support.” Luke smiles at him. “You’re her best friend.”

Poe looks down into his teacup, trying to hide the fact that he’s crying, but Luke Skywalker is obviously pretty good at reading the situation, because a second later, he’s sliding tissues across the counter.

“Thanks,” Poe whisper, taking one and wiping his eyes. “Thanks, I, uh – I just really care about her.”

“I do too,” Luke’s eyes are sad, but he still smiles. His life has been sad, Poe remembers – he lost his hand while a POW and it had ended his career, his wife died five years into their marriage, his father killed his mother – and this thing with Ben is just another sadness. As much as it removes Ben from Rey’s life for the time being, this is not a good thing. A kid’s life is ruined, and the Skywalker-Solo’s have to take another hit.

“I’m really sorry,” Poe says after he’s done crying. “I’m really sorry for your family, Captain Skywalker.”

“It’s just Luke, now,” the older man smiles at him reassuringly. “And I am too, Poe.”

He calls Rey over an hour later, and she settles on the couch while Luke tells her. Poe rubs her back the whole time, and she goes very pale and quiet for a few minutes – she cries, silently, and it breaks Poe’s heart – but then she nods.

“Is there anything we can do to help the kid he hurt?” She asks weakly, cradling her stomach seemingly subconsciously.

“We’re doing everything we can,” Luke promises her, and he holds her hands in his large, rough ones for a while after that.

When Luke leaves, Rey starts to cry again, and she sobs into Poe’s shirt. He asks her about it after she’s calmed down slightly, and he’s gotten her to drink a bottle of water, but she can’t really answer the question.

“I’m relieved, and heartbroken, and worried,” She says, wiping her eyes and opening another bottle. “I don’t know what to think, except I don’t want him anywhere near these, or any children.” Poe nods in agreement, and he ends up holding her for another hour while she takes a very necessary nap.

***

Two weeks later, Poe’s sleeping, having a very pleasant dream involving Rey and the beach and a lot of sunlight, when he’s shaken awake abruptly.

“Poe?” Rey whispers. “Poe, I think I’m in labor.”

He drapes an arm over his eyes and groans. “You’re scheduled for delivery next week, Rey,” he reminds her. “You’re only at 36 weeks.”

“Yeah, well tell that to the fucking children about to fall out of my vagina,” Rey snaps, loudly. He sits up at her tone and looks at her strangely.

In the moonlit semi-darkness of his room, he notices immediately that she’s sweaty and wild-eyed. She’s never spoken to him that sharply, and she’s never looked so – out of control.

“Uh.” Poe says, brain beginning to fire on all synapses.

“Yes, uh,” Rey grimaces and grabs her stomach. “Oh, fuckity-fuck, that’s definitely a contraction.”

“Oh _fuck,_ ” Poe launches into a panic for about thirty seconds before his crisis training kicks in and he nods, firmly. “Okay. Your bag is already in my car, so let’s just go, now. I’ll text Finn and let him know we’re going, and he’ll come watch Bee. Ready?”

Rey stares at him slightly in shock, and Poe nudges her shoulder. “Let’s go, Sunshine. Up and at ‘em.”

She slides out of bed, and Poe finds his comfiest slippers for her to wear. They head to the door, and Rey grabs his hand when another contraction starts up.

“Poe,” she whispers. “My water just broke, I think –”

“Oh.” Poe looks at her, but then nods. “Okay. You drink some water, and scream some obscenities at me if it hurts, and I’ll get you new sweatpants.”

“Okay.” Rey smiles at him and grabs the kitchen counter, trying to breathe deeply. “Motherfucker.” She winks at him, and he rolls his eyes at her before jogging to grab clean sweats from the laundry room.

After she changes, Poe kneeling on the ground to help her out of the old pair and into the new, he bundles her up in a long coat, and they manage to get down the stairs and into the Jeep before her next contraction starts.

“Breathe,” He reminds her, tapping her on the wrist as he drives through town in the odd stillness of 2:00 a.m. _Why does everything happen to us at 2 am?_ He thinks, even as he holds Rey’s hand over the console. She curses every few minutes, louder and louder the closer they get to the hospital.

He’d memorized the best route to the hospital weeks ago, and in no time at all, they’re pulling up near the labor and delivery wing. Rey shouts her most creative curse yet, something about an ass-fuckery-pieces-of-monkey-shit, and he unbuckles them both quickly. Poe grabs the go-bag and slips out to open Rey’s door, and she takes his hand without protest while he helps her get out of the car.

“Poe,” she says, tugging his hand right before they walk in the front doors.

“Yes?” He asks, hands hovering over her, worried that she’s in agony. Rey tugs him to her though, and kisses him firmly.

“Wanted to do that before everything goes to shit,” she explains, one hand at her back, the other at her stomach now.

“I love you,” he says wonderingly, and Rey opens her mouth to say something back, but she groans in pain instead. “Okay, okay, let’s get you inside so we can go meet your kids.”

“Okay,” Rey whispers, and they manage to get inside without further incident. Poe explains the situation – mostly that they’re fairly certain her water already broke – to the nurse at the front desk, and another nurse comes out with a chair for Rey to sit in. Rey settles down quickly, and she whimpers in pain as another round of contractions starts up, a longer, more intense one this time.

“Alright mama, let’s go, “ the nurse says, starting to push Rey towards the triage room.

“Wait!” Rey screams, and the nurse stops, worried. “Poe!” He’s at her side in an instant, and she clutches his hand. “Please don’t leave me,” Rey begs, sweating harder now.

“I won’t,” Poe promises, wildly. “Is – is it okay if I come too?” He addresses the nurse directly with that.

“Are you the father?” The nurse asks, already starting to push the chair again.

“Yes,” Rey wails, before Poe can answer. “Yes, he’s the father.” She gestures at him frantically, and Poe jogs after them down the hall, jacket in hand, feeling impossibly out of his depth already.

They settle in triage, and the labor and delivery nurse takes about three minutes to determine that Rey’s more than ready to go to delivery.

“How long have you been having contractions?” She asks, frowning at Rey.

“I don’t know,” Rey says sheepish even through her obvious discomfort. “I was asleep and when they woke me up the first time, I sort of just thought I needed to poop. And then, you know, the water broke, and that was a pretty good indication…”

“Well, you’re at 3 centimeters, so let’s get this show on the road,” the nurse says. “I’m Maz by the way.” She holds her hand out to Rey, and then Poe. The movement to delivery is a bit blurry, and Poe’s stumbling around to wherever he’s pointed. A team of people come in once Rey’s settled, and they start to monitor the fetuses. Rey’s IV is set up, and the obstetrician, a warm-looking woman named Dr. Kalonia whom they’ve met with several times, smiles at her.

“Both twins are still vertex,” the doctor confirms, and Rey takes a couple more panting breaths, feet planted against the bed. “And you wanted to do vaginal delivery, yes?”

“Yes,” Rey nods, firmly. “Yes, and an epidural as soon as possible, please.”

“You got it,” Kalonia smiles at her, and takes the time to introduce a few of the people in the room. There’s a few more neonatal nurses, and some people to assist in the delivery, but Poe can’t stop staring at Rey and misses every possible name. He knows Maz and Kalonia and Rey and everyone else is just sort of background noise, honestly.

“You’re going to have a baby,” Poe says, mystified, holding Rey’s hand already. She smiles at him, between contractions and looking way too happy for how much pain she must be in, and she squeezes his hand. “Multiple babies. Babies, Rey.”

“Wow, what a statement. Let’s hope they take after you, Mom,” Maz cracks.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Rey laughs drily and then her hand tightens around Poe’s as another contraction starts. “Epidural?” she asks, hopefully.

“The anesthesiologist might be a while,” Kalonia says, making sure all monitoring equipment is working well. “Sorry, Rey. But from what I can tell, you’re still a bit away from having to push, so just keep breathing deeply, and we’ll be back to check on you soon.”

They sit for a while, talking quietly, and Rey closes her eyes and scream-whimpers (that’s a word, Poe’s inventing it) in her throat every so often. Poe’s 85% certain he’ll need to ask the anesthesiologist for something for himself because he’s pretty sure Rey’s broken his fingers by the time he shows up. The epidural goes in with Kalonia monitoring, and once they’ve taped the line down and placed the catheter, Rey’s allowed to lean back and just wait for it to take effect.

“Whoop, there it is,” she says, smiling a little easier after about ten minutes. “Buh-bye, legs.” Kalonia snorts and starts Rey’s IV, so she’ll stay hydrated.

Poe’s been a lifelong fidgeter, and he’s never actually been able to stay still or seated for more than an hour unless he was asleep or flying, but today he definitely sets a new record as he keeps up his bedside vigil. Maz sticks around with them to help with the continuous monitoring, and she cracks jokes that has Poe and Rey both breathing easier.

After hours of the contractions getting closer and closer, the centimeter count going up and Rey’s persistent discomfort, Maz declares that it’s time to push, and the team re-enters the room to prepare for babies.

Rey pushes as well as she can – “I can’t feel my fucking legs, how am I supposed to know if I’m pushing well enough?” she demands to Maz, who reassures her and begins to coach her more intensely – and she pushes for a long time with no appearance of a baby.

“Poe,” Rey grips his hand. “Poe, I can’t –” She looks desperate, and sad, and Poe doesn’t ever want her to feel either of those things.

“You can,” he nods, furiously, squeezing back. “Sunshine, you can do anything, you can do this.”

“I hate this,” Rey whimpers, “I hate not knowing if they’re going to be okay.”

“You kidding me?” Poe smiles at her and rests his forehead on hers briefly. “Mom like you? They’re going to be great.”

“It’s time to push again, my darling,” Maz instructs, hand on Rey’s abdomen. “Come on, you can do this.” Rey clenches her eyes shuts and evidently focuses very hard. Poe very much does not look anywhere south of Rey’s abdomen and just keeps up a litany of what he hopes are supporting encouragements.  

“I see the head,” Kalonia declares triumphantly after agonizing minutes of nothingness.

“Oh thank fuck, it has a head,” Rey groans.

“Less jokes, more pushing,” Maz scolds, and Rey nods, clearly dizzy from the effort. “And breathe. Papa, you should be helping her.” She points a withered finger at Poe, who nods.

He’d been to a few Lamaze classes with Rey in the last two months, mostly just to keep her company (he hadn’t imagined in a hundred years she’d want him around for the labor), so he tries to remember the training and he tries to project calm (and probably fails). Rey smiles at him anyway and only curses at him like fifteen times, so he counts it as a success. Maz encourages her to push and helps her through it, and suddenly Kalonia is announcing the first baby’s arrival, Rey screaming slightly from exertion.

 “It’s a boy,” Kalonia croons. “What a handsome boy.”

“He’s so…gross,” Rey says, wide-eyed and exhausted, still clutching the sides of the bed from where she’d been death-gripping (and Poe loves her, he really does, but thank God she abandoned his hand ten minutes ago to clutch the stainless steel instead). Poe laughs and kisses the side of her forehead. Maz snorts and soon the baby’s resting on Rey’s abdomen, and she coos at her son happily, still blinking sweat out of her eyes.

“He’s perfect,” Poe breathes, staring down at the child in Rey’s arms. “You made him, Sunshine. Holy fucking shit, that’s hardcore. He’s amazing.”

“Fuck!” Rey snaps, gritting her teeth suddenly. Poe stares down at both mother and child panicked.

“Sorry mama, it isn’t over yet,” Maz wipes Rey’s forehead soothingly, trying to remove some of the sweat running into her eyes. “Are you experiencing pain?” She asks, concerned.

“No –” Rey shakes her head. “No, I’m okay – I – I would have wanted to name him Ben, for my father, but that name is fuckity fuck ruined now.” _Oh fuck,_ Poe thinks. _Fucking Ben Solo._

She thinks for a second, and then lights up. “Let’s name him Finn! Adult Finn will cry, at least, that’ll be funny.” Rey and Finn have a weirdly intense bond that’s built up over the last few months; Poe sometimes worries that she likes his friend better than him. They’re both foster kids, and they both had a rough start at life, so really they just have a lot in common, and a very well-matched temperament inclined to jokes and pranks (they’re going to keep Rose and Poe on their toes for the rest of forever, that’s for damn sure). Finn’s already declared Rey to be the little sister he never had, and he keeps showing up with small gifts for the babies – he’d even learned how to knit, with semi-disastrous results, but Rey claimed the lumpy washcloth was the best ever made, and the babies would love it, and even that statement had made Finn misty-eyed.

Finn’s going to be a wreck, basically.

“Yeah, he’ll definitely cry,” Poe laughs, if only to hide that he’s sort of crying too. “Big baby.”

Kalonia decides that it’s time for Rey to push again a few minutes later, and Poe’s stunned when the baby boy is passed to him after the nurses test his breathing and vitals. Finn Kenobi’s determined to be in excellent health, weighing in at 6 lbs, 3 oz. A nurse helps Poe unbutton his shirt, and he holds the baby close to his chest, something called kangaroo care (which he’d find a lot funnier if he weren’t, you know, crying so much).

“Okay, Rey,” Kalonia smiles at her after checking the monitors and Rey’s own vitals. “The next baby’s still vertex. Ready to meet your daughter?”

Rey nods, and then smiles at Poe. “Cute kid,” she laughs. “Do you want to see another?”

“Definitely,” Poe smiles at her, and then down at Finn. “Why, you got one hiding somewhere?”

“Hold my beer,” Rey grins at him, and he can’t help but grin back. While Maz coaches her again, Rey begins to push. This time’s a lot faster, and soon Kalonia’s holding a slightly tinier, but still just as pink infant. 

“Say hello to your daughter,” Kalonia says after she’s taken her first breath. Poe’s staring at Finn, and then at Finn’s sister, and then at Rey, who holds her shaking hands out for her daughter. She’s settled quickly on Rey, who smiles down at the baby, sniffling and still trembling.

“What’s her name?” Poe asks, still cradling Finn gently to his chest.

Rey smiles down at her girl, and she’s full-on crying, too, which makes him feel a little better about being a blubbering mess.

“Shara.” If he wasn’t before, he’s sobbing now. “Her name is Shara.”

Rey looks exhausted, and before he knows it, Poe’s being handed the other baby. So he’s sitting there – he hasn’t held a baby since he was seventeen years old and a cousin he barely knew shoved a kid in his arms – with double babies, arms full of babies, and Rey smiles at him serenely.

“That’s a good look for you, Dameron,” Rey says weakly. She looks impossibly tired, and her blood pressure is low, but that’s to be expected, right?

“Yeah?” Poe grins at her and then down at the kids. “I guess it is.”

“I love you,” Rey whispers, and Poe looks back up at her in shock. Across the bed, Kalonia’s instructing a young doctor to administer synthetic oxytocin, and another nurse is preparing a warming bed for the babies to lie in while they wait to try breastfeeding the first time, but it’s all just fading into the background as Poe stares at Rey.

“What?”

“I love you,” Rey’s eyes slip shut. “Thought you ought to know.” Her eyes close, and she gets so still, Poe panics, and panics hard.

“Nurse?” Poe wants to grab Rey, wants to shake her awake, wants to make sure she’s okay, because she has to be, because she’s a mom now, and she loves him, and he loves her so fucking much it hurts. “Maz?! Oh my God, Rey, no—”

“Shut up, Dameron,” Rey says softly before any of the medical professionals even have time to look at him. “Not dying. Just tired.”

“Oh.” Poe coughs to clear his throat. He blinks away more tears – it’s an emotional day, after all. “Sorry.”

The nurse comes to take care of the babies, and Poe relinquishes them reluctantly. “Bye, babies,” he whispers.

“Bye, Papa,” Maz answers, already wheeling them out of the room to the nursery. Poe stares after her, the reality of her statement, and Rey’s earlier assertion hitting him. Rey wants him to be part of her children’s lives, at least for now, and people are probably going to assume exactly what Maz did. And it’s – it’s heady, intoxicating, wonderful, and way more than he deserves.

Rey _loves_ him. She had said it, and she loves him, and he loves her, and he loves those fucking kids (and oh God, he’s crying again). So, Poe just sits at Rey’s bedside and waits patiently for her to wake back up.

He’s there to hold her hand when she cries in frustration when the nurse wakes her up to try breastfeeding, and Shara won’t latch. He’s there when Finn’s body temperature drops, and he has to be taken away, and Rey sobs in anxiety while still holding Shara. He’s there when Finn stabilizes, and he’s there when Rey regains feeling in her legs but can’t pee quite yet, and she screams profanities in the bathroom.

Poe’s there for a lot more than he ever expected or could have hoped for, and he’s grateful for every second Rey lets him share in her life.

***

Rey’s sleeping in her bedroom when there’s a knock at the door.

They’ve been back from the hospital for a week now, and Poe’s on baby duty so Rey can sleep for a few hours before breastfeeding again. Shara’s still being a real stinker about it sometimes, but the babies’ weights are stable, and the doctor’s thrilled with them, and everything is going so wonderfully, Poe feels like he’s floating on air.

Okay, so the floating feeling might have something to do with sleep deprivation, but still. Poe’s happy, so happy (and exhausted, and he needs a shower, and also it’s still a little strange that he and Rey haven’t had sex but he’s seen her vagina like fifty times in the last week helping her shower and go to the bathroom and do a lot of things that he’s honestly flattered she asks for his help with but yeah, okay, it’s a little weird).

Poe answers the door, distantly aware but not really caring that he’s been wearing this sweatshirt for 40 hours and it’s covered in more than one round of various baby excretions, and he smiles genuinely at the person behind the door.

“Hey, Luke,” he greets. “Good to see you again.”

“You too, Dameron.”

Poe gestures for him to come in, and he sags against the counter. “Gotta be quiet, Rey’s asleep,” he explains, rubbing at his eyes. “Babies are right there if you want to say hi.” The babies are also asleep, miraculously, at the same time and everything, and holy fuck it’s so quiet in here, and Poe might just fall asleep standing up.

“I brought something!” Luke announces cheerfully. “For the babies!” He presents two orange toolboxes – and like, how the fuck did Poe not notice those before? Poe sets them on the counter, opens one, and sees automatically that these are not plastic toys for children – they’re state-of-the-art tools clearly intended for use on projects far more complicated than fixing a toilet or hanging a picture.

“Uh,” Poe stares down at a hydraulic precision drill. “Thank you?”

“Yeah, I don’t really know much about…” Luke trails off, looking a little lost.

“Babies?” Poe suggests

“People?” Luke says, grinning awkwardly. Poe snorts and nods. Luke turns awkwardly and sees a giant stuffed giraffe, courtesy of Leia and Han, propped up in the corner of Rey’s apartment. “Yeah, that looks a little more right,” he grumbles.

“Rey will love your gift,” Poe assures him, and Luke rolls his eyes. “You want to see them?”

Luke shuffles over, wonderingly, eyes wide as he looks down at Shara and Finn Kenobi.

“Ben would have loved them,” he says gruffly after a long pause. “Ben Kenobi.”

“Yeah,” Poe rests his arms on the side of the crib. “Yeah, they’re definitely easy to love.”

He and Luke just watch them in silence for a few more minutes, and Finn starts to stir. Poe picks him up when he wakes up all the way, and he shushes him carefully, holding him close.

“Gotta go get mama,” he says. “Wanna stay so there’s a witness when she murders me?” Luke snorts and nods, settling into the armchair next to the still-sleeping Shara.

“Yeah, I’ll stick around.” He smiles at Poe, and then back to Shara. “Always wanted kids. Me and Mara didn’t get the chance.” He doesn’t sound sad, but Poe grips his shoulder all the same, Finn tucked carefully in his other arm. Luke grabs Poe’s hand for a moment before releasing him, and Poe goes to wake up Rey.

“Hey, Sunshine,” he murmurs after he’s sat down on the bed next to her. Rey blinks awake and sits up, groggily. “Finn’s awake.”

“He’s your kid after 7:00 p.m.,” Rey reminds him, pouting. She’s teasing him, and more than a little grumpy, but it makes his breath catch all the same.

“I love you,” he says in response. “And I love him. And Shara. I hope you know that.”

“It’s very hard to be mad at you when you’re so fucking cute,” Rey grumbles.

“Language!” Poe hisses, covering the back of a now-fussy Finn’s head with his hand.

“Fuck you!” Rey hisses back, reaching out for her son at the same time. “I love you too,” she comments, after she has Finn settled and he’s latched and slightly less agitated.

“I know,” Poe smiles at her when she looks up at him.

“Cocky,” she warns. Poe leans over to kiss her knee, and he leaves his head there to smile up at her. Rey smiles down at him, no longer irritated with him (for the time being), and Poe heaves a massive sigh of contentment. Luke’s watching Shara, and Rey’s holding Finn, and Poe – Poe feels more at peace than he ever has, despite the dried vomit, and the crud in his hair, and the sleep deprivation, and the now-constant anxiety for the tiny human lives Rey’s trusting him with.

Life is good in 1C, and Poe’s never been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know there's gonna be a cute-ass epilogue <3


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe go on their first date post-twins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: just two nerds getting frisky, all lightly described.

The twins turn seven months old on a regular, pleasant Saturday afternoon in September.

That same day, Poe finishes a commission in the small study set up for him on the bottom floor of Rey’s house. Well, their house.

She had asked him to move in with her when the twins were two months old:

“I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of how good you are with them,” she’d said earnestly when she brought it up on their daily walk. “I mean, you are good with them. So good with them, Poe. And I love you even more for it; but, I love you so much anyway, and I want – I’d want this even if, you know, it wasn’t so …so…” She held her jacket tighter around herself with one hand, obviously chilly in the weak March sun.

“Complicated?” Poe smiled at her, happily. “Don’t worry, Sunshine, I was already going to say yes. As if I’d say no to living with my three favorite people.” He smiled at her, not pausing in pushing Shara’s stroller. Rey was pushing Baby-Finn, and she had smiled back at him, shyly. “Just don’t tell Big-Finn or Rose I said that.”

“I won’t,” Rey laughed. “But you really want to live with us?”

“Yeah,” Poe smiled at her. “I really, really do. I’ll have to finish my lease, but it’s up in July. That gives us some time to figure things out.”

And they had figured things out; they split the mortgage, and Poe cuts the grass; they take turns waking up with the twins, and Poe works from home so Rey can go to work; and, Poe had sworn to never, ever touch any of the appliances, as long as Rey swore to never, ever cook.

Now, they all live in complete happiness in a split level two bedroom, in a quiet, green part of Coruscant. The nearby elementary school is top-rated, there’s room in the garage for Poe’s Jeep and his thousands of boxes (“Oh my _god,_ you’re a pack rat!” Rey had exclaimed delightedly when he moved in. “I knew you couldn’t be perfect!”), and they’re a convenient ten minute drive from Rey’s work, and twenty minutes from the twins’ grandparents.

Who are currently on their way over for babysitting duty. “Grandpa and grandma are almost here!” Rey calls, cheerfully. Poe finishes the last part of his illustration, and sprays it with the final fixative.

“I gotta wash my hands unless you want charcoal on the baby,” Poe shouts back. He winks at Finn, who coos at him happily from his baby-proofed seat of honor in Poe’s study.

Rey wanders in, holding Shara on her hip. “There’s already charcoal on the baby,” she points out. “Gosh.” She sets Shara down in the playpen and scoops up Finn instead. “Why are you all dirty, huh?” She coos at her son, who reaches up happily for his mother’s face.

“Because I couldn’t resist showing him the drawing a few minutes ago,” Poe admits sheepishly. He very much regrets the decision now, if only because the onesie Finn’s wearing is so damn cute, and he knows how hard it is to get charcoal out of clothes.

Rey gasps. “Is that true?” She demands of Finn, bouncing him on her hip. Finn gurgles a laugh. “Is that true? Daddy just couldn’t resist?” She continues to babble at Finn. And Poe –

Poe stares at Rey.

“You poor, dirty baby,” she sings at Finn, who pats her on the cheek with a chubby hand. “Poor, poor baby.” Rey smiles at Poe. “Are you going to wash your hands?” She asks, confused.

“Yeah,” Poe says weakly. “Yes.” He doesn’t get up from the chair, though. He feels like he got hit by a truck, Rey can’t just – she can’t just _say that_ and expect him not to be at least semi-gob-smacked.

“Is there something wrong?” She asks, concerned now. She sets Finn down too, and leaves her hand dangling in the playpen so she can idly tickle the twins while looking at Poe.

“That’s the first time you’ve called me that,” Poe says, faintly. “You know…their dad. Since the hospital, at least.”

Rey turns bright red. “Oh,” she says, nodding. “I—I guess it is. Is that okay ? With you? I mean, we haven’t really talked about it, but Poe, I do think of you as their dad. I’m sorry if that’s a lot—”

“It’s not,” Poe says quickly. “Fuck. No, it’s amazing, Rey. I can’t believe you…you want me as part of your life to that extent. Or any extent. It’s incredibly. I just,” he coughs and laughs at himself. “I really liked it. Hearing you call me that.”

“Oh.” Rey grins at him, slightly evilly now. “You did?”

Poe’s saved, quite literally, by the bell. Han and Leia are here, and Rey and Poe each grab a baby to go answer the door.

“Hello,” Han says, beaming and holding a stack of books.

“Why is the baby covered in dirt?” Leia asks, looking concerned.

“It’s charcoal,” Rey says cheerfully. “It’s from Poe. Poe, did you want to-?”

“Yes,” Poe remembers, still a little off his rhythm from the revelation in the study. “Yeah, here, hold Finn, Mr. Solo.” He hands over the baby and sprints for the master bedroom. Poe scrubs his hands clean and changes into a nicer shirt, tucking it into his pants, and finding a (matching!) pair of socks (seriously, where did those come from?). He rushes back out into the living room and kisses the babies about fifty times in goodbye before he and Rey are thrown from the house by Han.

“You kids better not be back before eight,” he says sternly, jabbing a finger at them before slamming the door.

“That’s a weird take on a curfew,” Poe comments, offering his arm to Rey. She takes it, laughing, and when he opens the car door for her, the Jeep parked out at the curb, she looks over her shoulder hesitantly. “You okay, Sunshine?” He asks softly, tugging on the sleeve of her pretty dress.

“Yeah,” she turns around to smile at him. “Yeah. It’s silly. I go to work five days a week, so I’m used to leaving them, but, usually…I leave them with you? And I trust Han and Leia, but it just feels different.” She leans in and kisses him on the cheek.

“We can stay,” Poe offers. “Even if Han won’t let us back in. We can sit out on the front step and wait for eight o’clock, if it makes you feel better.”

“I thought you wanted to go on a date,” Rey teases him, kissing him again, on the lips.

“I did,” Poe smiles at her bashfully. “And I do. But, the point of a date is spending time with someone and having fun with them, and doing things you like. And I’d be spending time with you, and I’d have fun talking to you, and I like being with you. So, sitting on your front porch until the grandparents let us back in sounds like a date to me.”

“Well, I’m wearing real underwear, and I put deodorant on, so let’s not waste this,” Rey says lightly. “As sweet as that is.” She sits down in the passenger seat and smiles up at him while he closes the door.

Their date is wonderful, even if they each have to ban the other from checking their phones from updates from Leia and Han (well, they agree to only check their phones every thirty minutes for new pictures or videos of Finn and Shara). After dinner, they walk along the boardwalk, the breeze from the ocean ruffling Rey’s hair.

“I never thought I’d end up so close to the sea,” she says thoughtfully.

“Do you ever miss the desert?” Poe asks. Coruscant is anything but dry; it often rains, and it feeds the trees that line so many of the avenues. He personally loves it; but, he can see it being startling to someone who grew up surrounded by sand.

“No,” Rey smiles at him. “No. I miss Ben, always, and sometimes I miss the stars in Arizona, but here,” she sighs happily. “I love the ocean. And I met you here.” She stops walking and takes his hands in hers. “Other than the twins, Poe…” Rey looks up at him, moonlight caught in her eyes. “You’re the love of my life, you know.”

“And you’re mine,” Poe says. “Oh, God, I’m going to cry.” Sure enough, tears are welling in his eyes. “Sorry, I’m such a fucking mess. I just love you so much, and I never imagined a life this _good,_ Sunshine.” Rey knows all about his ghosts, now, knows about his crash, and his friends, all of it. She knows it, and she loves him anyway, and God, he doesn’t deserve this, but he’ll sure as hell work towards deserving it.

“Me either,” she smiles at him, and he can’t help but kiss her. He even jokingly dips her, and Rey’s hands brace on his shoulders while she laughs in his mouth, the nearby sounds of waves crashing on the beach a soothing counterpart to the embrace.

***

They drive back in silence, Rey’s hand warm in his own, and Poe can’t stop looking over at her. She’s so beautiful, so wonderful, and so, so, so perfect.  “I love you,” he says into the quiet, right as they pull up into the driveway. Han and Leia had taken the twins out, and had parked on the curb when they came back.

The garage is already open (probably so they wouldn’t wake the babies up if they were already asleep. They’d managed to stay away until nine), and Poe puts the car in park.

“I love you, too.” Rey smiles at him from the passenger seat, and Poe feels a surge run through him, one of happiness and intense domesticity; she’s softly glowing in the dim overhead light, and he swears he’s never seen anything so radiant as Rey Kenobi.

He opens his mouth to say something stupid, like _will you marry me, tomorrow,_ but before he can make a fool of himself, Rey unbuckles her seat belt and slides over so she’s in his lap, straddling him.

Poe’s brain goes offline, quickly, when her mouth finds the spot under his ear that has him whining immediately, his hips bucking up into her,  and he gasps, “Rey,” eliciting a dark chuckle from his girlfriend.

“Yes, Poe?” She pulls away to blink at him innocently.

“What are you doing?” He asks, rubbing circles into her thighs with his thumbs. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Well, I lied to you earlier,” Rey says lightly. She leans in to kiss him again on the neck.

“You did?” He asks, not really caring as she rubs her tongue in tight circles along his pulse. “Guh. What about?” Poe decidedly does not care if she lied to him, she could lie to him forever if she keeps doing that.

“Well, I told you I was wearing real underwear,” Rey says, taking his hand. She slides it up the inside of her thigh, slowly. “But I lied. I’m not wearing any underwear.” Poe’s eyes are going to fall out of his head – at least, it feels like they are – as she places his hand exactly where she wants it. He whimpers in his throat, staring down even though the skirt of her dress blocks anything from view. “I got tired of waiting for you to find out for yourself.”

“But Rey,” he says weakly. “Rey, we’re in the garage, Han and Leia are probably waiting for us.” His fingers don’t stop in their movements, so he assumes she understands his protest isn’t that firm.

“Well, if you don’t want to,” Rey sighs, pulling away, and Poe yelps.

“No, come back here,” he wheedles, tugging on her shoulders, trying to get her closer again. She grins at him contentedly and settles back in his lap, her hand stroking over where his zipper is getting incredibly uncomfortable. They kiss lazily for a few more minutes, Rey sliding her hips over him in a way that has him seeing stars behind his eyelids. “How far do you wanna go?” Poe asks. It almost feels like prom night all over again, because he and Rey haven’t done anything or gone past second base in the months since the twins were born (and Poe definitely does not mind, he’d wait an eternity for Rey, and honestly they’ve both been too tired to do anything more than aggressive petting and cuddling), and God, he wants her, he always wants her, but he’ll take whatever she gives him.

“All the way?” Rey asks, winking. “I hope you don’t mind, but I brought protection.” She leans over and yanks out an entire strip of condoms. 

“How many times do you think we can do this in the next fifteen minutes?” Poe laughs, lightly.

“Fifteen minutes?” Rey wrinkles her nose. “That’s all?” She’s successfully unzipped his pants by now, and Poe groans when her hand pulls him out of his boxers.

“Trust me, sweetheart,” Poe kisses her firmly, his hands sliding through her hair. “You give me a chance, it’ll be way longer than fifteen minutes.”

It’s cramped in his car, and they slide his seat back as far as it will go, but eventually they manage to find a good position for both of them, and Rey sighs while he helps her open.

“If it hurts, we stop,” Poe says firmly. “Don’t push through it.”

“Mhm,” Rey rolls her eyes. “Less worrying, more fucking.”

Poe decidedly does not fuck Rey. He helps her slide down carefully, taking note of every wince and sigh, and he holds her hips in place for almost a minute while he teases her gently, so she can relax. Poe tells her he loves her almost a hundred times before they begin to move, and then they’re going, going – Poe hasn’t flown in over two years, but it feels like flight, being with Rey, it feels like a perfect barrel roll, feels like pulling out of a dive, feels like breaking the sound barrier.

After, she’s collapsed on his lap, and he’s still inside her, going soft. Poe kisses her neck and jaw, whatever he can reach, smoothing her hair out of her face.

“So, that was nice,” she comments lazily, kissing his shoulder. “Definitely worth the wait. 8/10, would recommend to a friend.”

“Just 8 out of 10?” Poe asks, pretending to be aghast. “Why, that makes me want to go again so I can improve my score.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Rey pulls back to wink at him, and Poe grins up at her, already planning on what they can do next, as soon as he can go again.

Just then, light floods the car.

“If you two are done boning, Leia and I want to go home so we can watch our shows,” Han bellows into the garage from the top of the steps. “And don’t worry, I’m covering my eyes. Jesus Christ.” The door back into the house closes firmly, and Poe stares over Rey’s shoulder in horror.

Rey giggles, and giggles, whole body shaking from her laughter, and Poe can’t help but join her.

They laugh for another few minutes while they disentangle themselves, and Rey smooths her dress, and Poe adjusts his pants, the condom already tied and read to throw in the garbage.

He gets out before she does so he can open her door, and they hold hands as they walk up the stairs.

“Why does it feel like I’m about to get scolded by a parent for necking with my girl?” Poe asks right before he opens the door back into the house.

“Why does it feel like you stole that line from Grease?” Rey asks teasingly. Poe sticks his tongue out at her and opens the door.

Leia and Han give them shit for about five minutes, but then they kiss them both on the cheek and leave. The second the door closes, they can hear Leia cackling behind it, and Poe bangs his head on the door before Rey tugs his hand.

“Let’s go say goodnight,” she says softly. Poe smiles at her and nods; they walk to the nursery, and Poe warps his arm around Rey’s waist while they look down at Finn and Shara.

“They’re perfect,” he murmurs.

“So are you,” Rey says, resting her head on his shoulder. “You’re perfect too, Poe. And today was perfect.”

“Good,” Poe kisses the top of her head. “You deserve nothing but perfect, for the rest of your life. Only perfect things for you, Sunshine.”

“Do you mean that?” Rey asks, while they walk back to their bedroom.

“Course I do,” Poe smiles at her and keeps walking. Rey’s not next to him by the time he reaches the door, so he turns around to look at her. Rey looks oddly wrong-footed, and she shifts on her feet. “Sunshine?”

Rey does the unexpected (like she always does).

Rey gets down on one knee.

“Poe?” She says, nervously. “Will you marry me?”

Poe stares at her in shock before he whoops with laughter. He dives down so he’s on his knees, too. “Yes,” he says, nodding furiously. “Yes, yes, yes.” He kisses her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, her lips, everything he can kiss. “God, if I knew putting out would you get you to propose, I woulda done it months ago.”

“Cheeky,” Rey warns before she kisses him back. “But don’t worry, it’s cute on you.”

“Good,” Poe says, holding her tight to him, not an easy feat as they’re both still kneeling. “Do you think we could do a round two?”

“Race you,” Rey says, standing and bolting to the door. Poe curses and runs to follow her. Now, he can take his time. Now, in their bedroom, he can take every piece of clothing off her body, kiss each inch of exposed skin. Now, he can –

A wail comes over the baby monitor, and Rey falls back on the bed, groaning, her dress pulled down to her waist, her bra pink and lacy and making it very, very hard to think.

“I got it,” Poe laughs.

“Are you sure?” Rey sits up slightly on her elbows, her hair tussled and still wonderfully perfect.

“Definitely.” Poe kisses her quickly and stands up, wearing nothing but his boxers and undershirt now. “You stay there, I’ll be right back.”

Finn needs to be changed, and then Shara needs to be rocked back to sleep, and it becomes a half hour task. He walks back to the bedroom, exhausted, and when he walks in, he sees Rey, completely passed out, in the same position he left her. Poe snorts, slides in bed next to her, and pulls the covers around them.

“Love you,” he whispers to Rey. Rey who wants to marry him. Rey Kenobi, the love of his life. He buries his head in her shoulder, slings his arm around her waist, and quickly joins her in some very well-deserved rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPs
> 
> Now this AND May the Froth Be With You are done and I don't even know what to do with myself.
> 
> Except finish Commander Dameron.  
> And extend Roadside Assistance.  
> And publish those one-shots  
> AND LEARN SOME DAMN SELF CONTROL.


End file.
